Rudy Giuliani Is In Ukraine Right Now. SURE, WHY NOT.
Fox News screenshot

At least OJ Simpson had the courtesy to wait until after the murder trial was over to write that book about how he would have murdered his ex-wife and her boyfriend IF HE DID IT. Rudy Giuliani is right this very minute, as the impeachment is ongoing, in Ukraine filming If Trump Colluded With Shady Ukrainians To Frame Joe Biden. Subtle!

Fox's first cousin (on all four sides!) One America News Network (OANN) has been filming a documentary with a bunch of corrupt prosecutors who got shitcanned by Ukrainian presidents Poroshenko and Zelenskyy for being dirrrrrrty. Apparently this heroic act of journalisming has been going on for some time and we never heard about it because THEY DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW. Just ask VRY SRS investigative journalist Chanel Rion -- not her porn name, apparently! -- seen here conducting a "deposition."

Have we heard of this person before? WE HAVE. Robyn wrote about the lovely Chanel and her creative biography two years ago when her fiancé Courtland Sykes was running for Senate in Missouri and told reporters, "I want to come home to a home-cooked dinner at six every night, one that she fixes." Sadly, Mr. Sykes fell short in his bid to secure the Republican nomination and now faces the prospect of having to make his own dinner while his lady is off chasing conspiracy theorists all over Eastern Europe. But Mr. Sykes should have expected as much when he took up with a woman who flogs Pizzagate, the Seth Rich murder conspiracy, and bizarre claims about "spirit cooking," as the Daily Beast points out.

The network just had to retract a Rion story falsely claiming that Lisa Page had an affair with Andy McCabe, but for sure this one is on the up and up.

The New York Times reports that Rudy met Tuesday with Yuriy Lutsenko, the former chief prosecutor who slimed Marie Yovanovitch and then immediately retracted his story. Then Wednesday it was on to Kyiv to meet with Viktor Shokin, the corrupt prosecutor pushed out by the IMF, EU, and the entire US government who conveniently now blames Joe Biden, and Konstiantyn Kulyk, a prosecutor fired last month who's been working with Lev Parnas, journalist John Solomon, and Nunes aide Derek Harvey on the Biden smear. And if those names mean nothing to you, just take our word that they're part of the motley crew of characters who've been working for a year to leverage the Ukrainian prosecutor's office to take out the president's opponent.

Giuliani, who is currently under investigation by his former colleagues in the Southern District of New York for possible violation of campaign finance laws and the Foreign Agents Registration Act (FARA) for his work with shadyass Ukrainians, is kicking it up another notch. This time he'll be conspiring on camera! No doubt he'll still claim attorney-client privilege for the conversations, since everything he does serves only to prove that Trump is totally innocent and Joe Biden is the real collusion. Because Rudy's A MAVERICK. Or a lunatic, definitely one of the two.

The Times reports that, "Mr. Giuliani's trip has generated concern in some quarters of the State Department, coming amid scrutiny of his work with American diplomats earlier this year on the pressure campaign." Which is diplomat-speak for GOD, PLEASE, NO! WHY??? STOP! Or, as broken clock Gordon Sondland put it, "Every time Rudy gets involved he goes and fucks everything up." Factcheck: True!

But America's Mayor can't stop, won't stop. Here he is in an image posted to Ukrainian lawmaker Andriy Derkach's Facebook page this morning.

Via Andriy Derkach Facebook

The Washington Post notes that "[a]nalysts have dismissed Derkach as spreading disinformation to support a conspiracy theory," but he's willing to vouch that Joe Biden personally benefitted from a money laundering scheme involving Burisma, so you know he's Rudy's guy. And what does Rudy have to say for himself?

"If S.D.N.Y. leaks and Democrats' threats stopped me, then I should find a new profession," he texted the Times. Yeah, maybe like manufacturing license plates. That seems more appropriate.

[NYT / DB / WaPo]

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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


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