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'Sup, Rudy?

VANITY UNFAIR! EAT YOUR HEARTS OUT! Yikes, it's like if Donald Trump's Twitter feed fucked itself and made a Trump Twitter incest baby.

He is so mad. For some reason, on the same day as the Department of Justice inspector general released a report saying James Comey committed no crimes, people are talking about this other thing that Comey has said should be investigated, that Wonkette has said should be investigated, and that the IG is supposedly going to get around to investigating once he's done with whatever Trump enemies list Bill Barr has stacked on his desk. Maybe he's totally doing it! We just don't know.

When the IG report on the Hillary Clinton emails investigation came out -- you know, the one that found that the FBI totally screwed Hillary, and that exactly zero of the conspiracy theories that ooze out of the brains of Donald Trump and Rudy Giuliani like syphilitic rat smegma are true -- we learned a lot of things about why then-FBI director Comey, for better or for worse, decided he had to go to Congress 11 DAYS BEFORE THE GODDAMNED ELECTION to tell them about "new" delicious Hillary Clinton emails found on Anthony Weiner's laptop. We learned that Comey had in mind the likelihood that if he didn't tell Congress, the info would have leaked anyway. (Or maybe disinformation.)

But leaks from whom? Well! Let us tell you! For the 50th time in three years! There was this cohort of rogue FBI agents in the New York field office who very seemed to be leaking directly to Rudy Giuliani and his buddy Jim Kallstrom (who used to run the NY FBI office) and Erik Prince about GROSS HILLARY REVELATIONS A-COMIN'. They were all over the TV and the radio talking about how the FBI had probably just found a smoking gun on Hillary and that she was probably going to be indicted, for "emails" and "Clinton Foundation" and "PizzaGateWhitewaterFileGateBenghaziiiiiiii!11!1!" (or something), you betcha, just you wait and see! It was allllll over Fox News.


What exactly did Roodles know? He said this on Fox News:

"The other rumor that I get is that there's a kind of revolution going on inside the FBI about the original conclusion [not to charge Clinton] being completely unjustified and almost a slap in the face to the FBI's integrity," said Giuliani. "I know that from former agents. I know that even from a few active agents."

But listen, y'all, Rudy knew all about it, but he had NO ROLE in the leaks, OK? But you're darn right he heard about it!

Did I hear about it? You're darn right I heard about it, and I can't even repeat the language that I heard from the former FBI agents.

That was November 4, 2016, on Fox News, several days before Russia/James Comey/a veritable handful of American voters installed Donald Trump in office, and just two days before Comey went back to Congress and said LOL OOPS MY BAD, these "new" Hillary emails are literally less than nothing. (We will #NeverForget. It was the Sunday before the election, we were Bloody Mary-drunk at brunch, and we raced home to write about how Comey had just fucked the election without lube for literally no reason, oh golly gosh! It put us in a real fuckin' bad mood. Little did we know that bad mood would last until the present day.)

In that IG report, former FBI lawyer/Trump enemy Lisa Page specifically said it was the NY FBI field office they were worried about:

Page told us that her "personal belief" was that there was "a substantial and legitimate fear that when we went to seek the warrant in order to get access to the Weiner laptop, that the fact of that would leak." Page said that this concern related to the suspicion that NYO personnel had been leaking negative Clinton Foundation stories.

Twitter user "Southpaw" reminds us that then-Attorney General Loretta Lynch and Comey discussed that NY office, especially longtimers, and their "visceral" irrational hatred of Hillary Clinton, and how it was why they were where they were with Anthony Weiner's fucking laptop:

That was nine days before the election, which would be two days after the infamous Comey letter to Congress. And again, class, who has deep ties with those unmanageable longtimers in the NY FBI field office?

Giphy

Rudy Giuliani's name wasn't mentioned in that IG report. However, according to "source," we were supposed to be hearing more about his involvement in all this before too long.

Uh huh. And ...

Giphy

Like we said, we're sure it's on Michael Horowitz's desk somewhere. Or maybe he put in the garage.

So why are we bringing this up again? Well, you might have seen, or gathered from Roodles's GRRR ARGH tweet above, that Vanity Fair published a new piece yesterday, asking what we've been asking this whole time: "Was The FBI Leaking To Rudy Giuliani?"

Exactly who at the FBI was talking to reporters about the Hillary Clinton email investigation—and possibly to Trump colleagues like Rudy Giuliani?

That was one cliff-hanger that Horowitz left unresolved with his previous 539-page report [...] The final two unclassified pages of Horowitz's June 2018 tome are graphic renderings of the problem: starburst diagrams with "reporter" at the center, and multiple lines radiating outward to trace hundreds of unauthorized contacts between journalists and FBI officials.

Justice Department insiders suspect that at least one of those unauthorized contacts may have involved Giuliani, then a surrogate for the Trump campaign. On October 26, 2016, Giuliani appeared on Fox News to tease "a surprise or two that you're going to hear about in the next few days." Two days later, Comey wrote a letter to Congress disclosing the discovery of Clinton emails on a laptop belonging to Anthony Weiner, the husband of Clinton aide Huma Abedin. Giuliani called in to a radio show shortly after the news broke to describe the "revolution" he said was going on inside the FBI because of the decision to close the Clinton probe. "I know that from former agents," he said. "I know that even from a few active agents who obviously don't want to identify themselves."

And again, Giuliani's buddy Jim Kallstrom was yapping his mouth on Fox about it. And then last year, as VF reminds us, Devin Fucking Nunes said "good FBI agents" had been leaking all the way up his ass about it too.

We're ready to see the fucking report, Horowitz. The real one, not the Bill Barr "NO COLLUSION NO OBSTRUCTION!" summary we assume he's already written.

Rest assured, we will goddamned know the difference.

[Vanity Fair]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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