Rudy Giuliani is fine, you guys. He's out of the hospital and will not meet the fate of the 3,055 people who died of COVID-19 in America yesterday and the 2,630 the day before that and the 2,857 last Thursday and all the other thousands on the other days since the pandemic started. Right now the confirmed death count in America is over 290,000.

But Rudy Giuliani is fine. He might've used to been the mayor of 9/11, but he won't be a casualty in the 9/11 that happens in the United States every day now. And why? Because he got the good shit, because he's a close friend and a steadfast fascist defender of Donald Trump. Allegedly.



Roodles the Batshit Fuckclown is back! And this time he's got EVIDENCE! LOL just kidding no he doesn't, but anyway, despite how he is feeling better, he's probably still leaking COVID out of his mouth hole like Just For Men on a sunny day, or Rudy Pooties in the Michigan legislature. What magical COVID cluster will originate from Rudy next? And who will die?

All of this is awesome.

Your mileage may vary on how much it personally offends you when powerful people like friends of President Crimey get access to treatments that are harder for others to get, or whether it just makes you roll your eyes. As Talking Points Memo explains, Rudy got the monoclonal antibody treatment from Regeneron that Donald Trump also got when COVID-19 invaded his lumpy sick body. "The minute I took the cocktail yesterday, I felt 100 percent better," Giuliani said about the sweetass treatment he got. "It works very quickly. Wow!"

Rudy went on to be even more of a dick on the radio about how he got it and you didn't, as reported by the New York Times:

"If it wasn't me, I wouldn't have been put in a hospital frankly," Mr. Giuliani, the president's personal lawyer, told WABC radio in New York. "Sometimes when you're a celebrity, they're worried if something happens to you they're going to examine it more carefully, and do everything right."

When you're a celebrity they just let you do it. Grab 'em by the pussy. Etc.

The Times reports that FDA people have been a bit concerned about how, with this treatment and another monoclonal antibody treatment from Eli Lilly in such short supply, Donald Trump's friends just keep magically getting it. Because there's really not much of it to go around. The US government bought 300,000 doses of the Regeneron treatment that Trump, Giuliani, and Ben Carson got. And that's all the doses of that one there are. Carson, like the idiot he is, said out loud that Donald Trump had "cleared him" to get the drugs:

"President Trump was following my condition and cleared me for the monoclonal antibody therapy that he had previously received, which I am convinced saved my life."

Meanwhile, Chris Christie got the Eli Lilly treatment before it was even approved. They had offered Christie a chance to get in on a Regeneron study, but he was just worried he might get the placebo instead of the real thing, and when the powerful whine, they often get what they want.

To see how much of these drugs we really have available, or rather how little of them we have, and how they've been allocated, go to this HHS website and click around. Unfortunately they don't specify where the president's personal stash comes from, or whether it's even accounted for there, or if they just secretly deliver it unto the White House inside Big Mac wrappers.

Again, the point is we don't have much. The Times notes that HHS Secretary Alex Azar said this week that overall, 278,000 doses of the two drug combos have been allocated, while also noting that on Tuesday, 220,225 new cases of COVID-19 were diagnosed.

As for Rudy, he is bragging that it was Trump's doctor who recommended the cocktail he took, without quite saying that's also how he got the hookup: "Exactly the same, his doctor sent me here; he talked me into it."

TPM says with a straight face, "[This] raises an obvious question: is President Trump using the medical perks of his office to help out his friends?" To which Wonkette replies, also with a straight face, WELL NO SHIT.

The Times quotes Arthur Caplan, a medical ethicist whose specialty is How To Give Out Medicine We Don't Have A Fuckton Of, who says "We should not have Chris Christie and Ben Carson — and in the case of Carson with intervention by the president — get access." It sure sounds like Giuliani also too had "intervention by the president." And no, we are pretty sure that is not how you should go about allocating such drugs. But just like Jared Kushner said back at the beginning of the pandemic about PPE, Trump assholes genuinely believe things like "federal stockpile" are "supposed to be OUR stockpile."

Oh well, glad Rudy Giuliani is "better."

To all who might encounter Rudy in the next few days, Wonkette recommends you wear a mask.

And a shield.

And a full body condom.

And you should probably bring a chaperone, who will also need a mask and a shield and a full body condom.

Second thought, just don't go near Rudy Giuliani, now or ever.

[New York Times]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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