total idiot

BREAKING NEWS: a person affiliated with Donald Trump's campaign has admitted he was wrong about a thing! On Wednesday, Rudy Giuliani made sounds about how Hillary Clinton didn't even bother to show up to 9/11, and Giuliani is the president of 9/11, so he should know who was at 9/11. The full quote:

Don’t tell me if you said that you remember Sept. 11, 2001. I remember Sept. 11, 2001. Yes, yes, you helped to get benefits for the people who were injured that day. But I heard her say one day that she was there that day. I was there that day, I don’t remember seeing Hillary Clinton there. That was like when she said she had to run through gunfire. That turned out to be, what do we call it? A lie.

Evil Hillary, always lying about whether she was STANDING RIGHT NEXT TO RUDY GIULIANI THE DAY AFTER 9/11.

For the record, Hillary Clinton never said she was in New York on September 11, 2001. Giuliani was lying when he said he heard Hillary say she was there on that day.

Well, now, Giuliani has shown that he can't quite gaslight as good as Donald Trump does, by either lying and saying he never said Hillary wasn't there, or, presented with the picture of Hillary standing next to him, insisting that lady next to him was Hillary's body double, as opposed to the real Hillary, who was probably eating bon-bons at the time. He actually admitted he was wrong:

"I made a mistake. I'm wrong and I apologize," Giuliani told The Associated Press. [...]

Told that he was being criticized online by people posting photographs of him with Clinton at ground zero, Giuliani was contrite.

"I probably deserve it," he said.

That's right, asshole, YOU DESERVE IT.

As we pointed out Wednesday, back in the olden days (this past July) Giuliani praised Hillary for how effective she was as New York's junior senator in the days and weeks after 9/11.

This, of course, does not absolve Giuliani of all the other times he's been an asshole lately, like when he said Donald Trump is pretty much right about how guilty the Central Park Five were, even though they were exonerated by DNA evidence AND the confession of the guy who actually did it. Or when Giuliani, the adulterous slutbag, actually played the "adulterous slutbag" card against Hillary, because she committed the crime of being married to a guy who cheated on her.

Or when he defended Donald Trump's birther crusade.

Or when he called Hillary a "founding member" of ISIS.

We anxiously await Giuliani's apologies for all those things, when he admits that yes, he is wrong and bad and stupid all the time about pretty much everything, and he is very sorry. Haha, just kidding, that will never happen.

Meanwhile, another has-been adulterer and Trump surrogate, Newt Gingrich, has gone on the record saying there is a "Big Trump" and a "Little Trump," and that that "Little Trump is frankly pathetic," by which he means Trump is a total pussy.

We'd spend two paragraphs fact-checking Gingrich's assertion that there is such thing as a "Big Trump," but there's a lot of news today and fuck it.

[Associated Press / Politico]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


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