Rudy Giuliani's Gonna Need a Bigger Boat
Rudy Giuliani, facing a well-orchestrated onslaught of coverage of his abortion views, decided the best place to clear things up would be on the radio program of the aggressively psychotic Laura Ingraham. Surprisingly, it didn't go well. But as long as his Republican opponents remain even dumber than him, he's not out yet.
"When you have a cut on your leg and it's bleeding slightly, you don't go into shark-infested waters," noted a top strategist for a rival campaign, who spoke on the condition of anonymity in commenting about another candidate's weaknesses. "On this, in particular, he is way outside the mainstream of the Republican Party."
That's right: Rudy Giuliani is way outside the mainstream when it comes to... avoiding sharks. And he if can't even manage to prevent himself from being mauled by a Great White, how on Earth will he protect America from those who will stop at nothing to destroy or eat us?