It's not a lie if you just made it up on the spot and hoped it might actually true! Thus reads the family crest of the fabled House of Giuliani, a motto the patriarch strives to live by every day. On Sunday, he told CNN, "Up until November 2016, they could have had a conversation about Trump Tower Moscow, and it went nowhere [...] It was a real estate project. There was a letter of intent to go forward, but no one signed it."

LOL, ooops!

In fact, CNN's Chris Cuomo revealed last night that Trump did sign a Letter of Intent (LOI) with Russian developer Andrey Rozov on October 28, 2015. That would be four months after officially announcing his intention to run for president on June 16 of that year. So your president spent at least a year simultaneously running for the highest office in the land while negotiating to build a tower financed by sanctioned Russian bank VTB.

Hey, remember all those times when Donald Trump said NO PUPPET, NO PUPPET, HILLARY CLINTON IS THE REAL RUSSIAN PUPPET?

Donald Trump: 'I Have Nothing To Do With Russia, Folks' | NBC News

After first denying that he'd ever said the LOI was unsigned -- that little lady Dana Bash must be confused -- Giuliani told the NY Daily News that he'd handed the signed copy over to Mueller. And anyway, signing a Letter of Intent isn't actually an expression of, you know, intent.

But Giuliani claimed the letter was "bulls--t" because it didn't go anywhere. "That was the end of it," Giuliani said. "It means nothing but an expression of interest that means very little unless it goes to a contract and it never did."

Giuliani said Trump's legal team has handed over the signed Moscow letter to Robert Mueller's team as part of the 1.4 million documents submitted to the special counsel.


This steaming pile of horse shit smells even weirder in light of testimony to the House Intelligence Committee by Trump's own son and his lawyer confirming that the LOI was signed. CNN reports:

In 2017, Cohen told congressional committees investigating Russian interference in the 2016 election that Trump had signed the letter. Donald Trump Jr. also testified to Congress that his father signed the letter of intent.

When they're looking to coordinate a coverup, they're really not sending their best.

But while we're here, let's take a little looksee at some of the details of the proposed agreement for the Trump Tower Moscow, which was totally hushhush for all parties except Donald Trump, who could run his mouth freely.

So far, so normal. Although the residents of Moscow must be gutted that they'll never get the opportunity to visit "The Spa by Ivanka Trump," for therapeutic injections of "Complicit" to erase those fine lines that come with a functioning conscience.

And speaking of Ivanka, she and her family would have cleaned up on this deal, raking in a $4 million "Up-Front Fee," 3-4 percent of gross operating revenues as management commission, 20 percent of adjusted gross operating profit as an "incentive fee," 2 percent of gross operating revenues for joint marketing with other Trump-branded properties, and commissions on every apartment sale.

See if you can spot anything odd in the sales commission structure.

OMG, so generous! On apartments sold for less than $100 million, Trump's cut was 5 percent. But on units sold for more than $1 billion, he'd take haircut and accept a 1 percent commission. We'd sure like to see one of those confidential LOIs from Trump's other properties, just to compare. Was he smoking crack when he drafted an agreement that contemplated a billion dollar unit in one of his garbage palaces? Or was this a special deal in Moscow, for oligarchs who just feel like handing over a giant pile of cash to the American president for reasons?


[CNN / Letter of Intent / CNN, again / NY Daily News]

Follow your FDF on Twitter!

Please click here to fund your Wonkette. We'll make it through this shit if we stick together!

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Five Dollar Feminist

Your FDF lives in Baltimore under an assumed identity as an upstanding member of the PTA. Shhh, don't tell anyone she makes swears on the internet!

Donate with CC

An unhinged wannabe fascist who tweets about golden showers did a news conference in the Rose Garden this afternoon. Also, Donald Trump was there.

Brazilian president Jair Bolsonaro is in town, and everything about today's public appearance with Trump and Bolsonaro has been real stupid, just like how it was real stupid when Bolsonaro's stupid son was the stupid guest of honor the other night at a stupid Steve Bannon event at the stupid Trump trash palace hotel in DC.

During their pool spray, Trump excitedly told reporters that he was making plans to give NATO privileges to Brazil, because of how Brazil elected a big gross dipshit just like America did. Of course, considering how Trump treats actual NATO countries, Bolsonaro might want to reconsider whether he wants that.

Then a reporter asked him about his blubbering whiny-ass attacks on John McCain, who is still dead.

That's right, Donald Trump didn't even avoid the question about his very embarrassing behavior. He spoke about McCain as if McCain were still alive, whined about McCain killing Obamacare repeal, and concluded by saying, "I was never a fan of John McCain, and I never will be." As for McCain, he will continue living rent-free in the president's nightmares and his face will be the face of Trump's insecurities, because we guess that's what happens to John McCains when they die.

But enough about the pool spray! After they met in the Oval Office and did whatever fascists who should be prohibited entry to the White House via an electric doggie fence do (sniffed each other's butts, probably), they entered the Rose Garden and proceeded to hike their legs on democracy some more.

Keep reading... Show less
Donate with CC
Yep, we're breaking out the Wikimedia kitten image for this one.

CNN is out today with a story on members of the anti-vaccination/pro-disease movement who have found a delightful new way to win converts to their side in the war on science: find parents (mothers, generally) who have recently lost a child to a preventable disease, and then harass them on social media, because after all, good people refuse vaccines and anyone who advocates for vaccines must be burned to the ground. As your lawyer (we are not a lawyer), we advise you to secure any hurlable heavy objects near you before reading.

Keep reading... Show less
Donate with CC

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc