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Rumor Thing Accuses John Boehner of Boning Lobbyist

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It appears that a rumor about John Boehner having an affair with a lobbyist isforming out of thin air after some Daily Kos guy said it was a rumor, so now it is a rumor. The New York Post got to the bottom of this thing: It's a liberal blogger/media conspiracy to take down Boehner. "'Catching Boehner with a mistress is the only way to destroy him politically before the election,' a source said." Oh yes, that Boehner is rock hard! Nothing can defeat it except an affair, as it is a very good leader. So who exactly is going to take down Boehner? That evil Jew York Times, of course.


Insiders on Capitol Hill are buzzing about an upcoming New York Times exposé that will detail an alleged Boehner affair. Sources say the Times is looking for the right time to drop the story in October to sway the election

Always looking to sway elections, that New York Times. It is widely read by the Ohioans and conservative Republicans who give Boehner his job.

Sources tell us that if the New York Times does not end up printing this giant Boehner expose right before midterm voting, the New York Post will immediately cease publication forever, out of embarrassment for printing something that turned out to be incorrect.

Bleepers! Bullbleep! [Salon/NYP]

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What's up fuckers? Were you waiting for me to come back from Mexico and write words at ya? Well, you know I don't write words at ya anymore, because of how I hate you, each, individually, but more importantly Trump has knocked all the words right out of my silly little lady brain.

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BONESAW WEEK WILL NEVER END! It's like Infrastructure Week, only stuff actually happens. And the stuff is all horrible! This morning, Saudi authorities indicted 11 suspects in the October killing of Jamal Khashoggi, announcing their intention to execute five of them. Despite copious evidence that the killing in the Turkish consulate was ordered by Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, lackeys are going to take the fall -- with their heads. And the US Treasury Department dutifully responded by imposing sanctions on 17 Saudis "involved in the abhorrent killing" of a legal US resident who was in the process of applying for citizenship. So, we're good now, yes? We can go back to selling them murder machines to kill Yemeni civilians?

And then SHIT GOT WEIRD.

NBC reports that the Trump administration is so desperate to resume normal relations with Jared Kushner's BFF MBS that they're trying to trade 77-year-old cleric Fetullah Gülen -- a lawful resident of Pennsylvania for 20 years -- to the Turkish government in exchange for them dropping the inquiry into the Khashoggi murder.

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