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Expert on chicks and robots


Shall we visit with Rush Limbaugh and learn how he knows the main difference between lady women and robots, and it is that robots don't bleed out of their wherevers? Sure why not. The story starts with Rush's confused, meandering thoughts about intimidating smart guys like Elon Musk and Bill Nye the Science Guy, and it ends with robots who never use Tampax, because that is a very normal story arc for a radio segment:

Are you aware of all of the talk from people like Bill Gates and Elon Musk -- and what's his name -- Stephen Hawking about the very real fear they have that artificial intelligence is going to wipe out humanity if we are not careful? Have you seen those stories? You have. Good. They're everywhere folks, particularly if you spend any time reading tech news. Elon Musk and Bill Gates and Stephen Hawking are gods to the techy millennial people. And whatever they say -- and so is Bill Nye the Science Guy, to show you how screwed up these kids are.

Oh yeah, those kids are so fucked up, respecting smart people instead of picking month-old Cheetos out of their belly buttons while they mate with their sisters, like average Rush Limbaugh listeners.

These four people are infallible. They are as a close to religious figures as millennial leftists will acknowledge.

Oh yeah, those millennial leftists, they are so ungodly, unlike Rush Limbaugh, the guy who just can't understand why everybody thinks rape is so bad, and also, why does everybody get mad when a big burly sports guy beats the shit out of his wife? UNFAIR!

Can we finally talk about fucking robots, how do THEY work? Yes!

And they're out there daily warning of the dangers posed by artificial intelligence. [...]

And when you get into robotics, and I don't mean butler, and servant and waiter, waitress kind of robotics, but real robotics, that takes over some jobs and leaves people forever unemployed, because the robots never get sick. They never have to have leave for menstrual cycles, unless you build a menstrual cycle into your robot.

Um, first of all, if people whose jobs are going to be taken by robots, like for instance FACTORY WORKERS IN THE RUST BELT, are worried about that, and if Rush Limbaugh is worried about that, shouldn't they have all voted for the lady woman who had plans for modern education and job training for a global 21st century economy, instead of the puss-grabbing loser fraud promising to bring manufacturing jobs back, when the reality is they are never coming back?

But we guess that's why Bill Gates, Elon Musk, Stephen Hawking and Bill Nye are the enemies, because they are the ones doing secret conspiracies to take your jobs and give them to robots, and ladies will be too busy having their periods to even compete.

Look, maybe Rush Limbaugh is trying to be sympathetic here. Maybe he is saying, "HEY BACK UP LADIES, maybe we shouldn't let the robots take over, because they will act like illegal Mexicans and take your lady jobs, and you know why? Because robots don't have a bunch of menses all the time."

MAYBE he has even thought about this for himself, since the bullshit that comes out of wingnut radio people's mouths is so stupid and predictable and racist that literally anybody could program a robot that could do a better job Rush Limbaugh-ing than Rush Limbaugh, assuming they had the technology. MAYBE he realizes that Robot Rush Limbaugh probably wouldn't get addicted to Oxycontin, unless you programmed it to get addicted to Oxycontin, and Robot Rush Limbaugh wouldn't get caught in airports coming back from foreign underage sex tourism places like the Dominican Republic with a bunch of Viagra between their buttcheeks, because c'mon, silly, robots will set off the security scanners, like LOUD BEEP! Robots are not making it on the plane, not even at all.

Maybe Rush knows Robot Rush Limbaugh would be WAY more better than him, and could probably even be programmed to be preternaturally scared of Barack Obama's secret army of lesbian farmers, just like he is, and he is a-skeered. And likewise, because of his big heart, he is also a-skeered for the lady bleeder people, out of solidarity.

Or maybe Rush Limbaugh is just being the misogynistic pile of broiled pig shit he is.

SHRUGGIE.

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[Media Matters]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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