Matt Yglesias wants to sex machen with German Mädchen, big time. [Matt Yglesias]

Rush Limbaugh was curled up on his La-Z-boy. He had just finished reading Du Bois' The Souls of White Folk and was feeling particularly vulnerable. Opiates helped relieve the pain, but it's hard being white in a black man's world. Rush cut up a few lines of Oxycontin with his Price Chopper Chopper Shopper Card. I will start the white civil rights movement he thought to himself. And then he celebrated with some Oxycontin up his nose. [Think Progress]

For the man who has everything except a Michele Bachmann action figure. [TPM]

The brave Americans who defended Alaska from the Japanese during the Battle of Midway will receive a pension of Zero Yen if Barack Obama has his way -- and he always has his way! Meanwhile, Barack is busy eating ice cream cones. Despicable. [RedState]

Onward, Christian soldiers! [True/Slant: Laurie Essig]