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Rush Limbaugh Sorry Liberals Made Him Be A Disgusting Liberal Like Them

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In case you were wondering, beloved minstrel show performer Rush Limbaugh is "sincerely" "sorry" about the "two words" he called Sandra Fluke -- slut and prostitute -- and as anyone who is sincerely sorry does, took full personal responsibility for them by blaming liberals, who forced him to become a disgusting spewer of ad-hominem insults against nice ladies even though he did not mean them, like them. Blorgle snurfle phlegm, liberals have a "willingness to say or do anything to advance their agenda. But this is the mistake I made," admitted Mr. Limbaugh, humbly. "In fighting them on this issue last week, I became like them. Against my own instincts, against my own knowledge, against everything I know to be right and wrong, I descended to their level, when I used those two words to describe Sandra Fluke, I became like them, and I feel very badly about that." He continued, "I have always tried to maintain a very high degree of integrity and independence on this program." "Integrity" and "independence" is not the language Your Wonkette would have used.

Mr. Limbaugh maintained that his unprecedented apology was not due to financial consideration, as his advertisers have got into a spot of bother, nor was it due to pressure from the GOP establishment, who have seemingly become a little verklempt. (Haha, "pressure.")

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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Seattle People, looking spunky. We hate spunky.

It is Friday, Yr Wonkette's back end (that's website talk) has been cranky all afternoon like a digital babby that needs a nap, and we are all stuck in the stupidest timeline. The one way we know it's not actually hell is that there are still adorable doggies and kitties and sloths, no to mention toddlers preschoolers named Donna Rose, and of course you, you lovely wonderful readers of ourn. And if you're in Eastern Washington or its environs, you can come out to meet Yr Editrix, Yr Shypixel, and Yr one day Benevolent Monarch Donna Rose come this Sunday in the Evergreen State's second-largest city, Spokane!

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  • Saturday, Aug 11th ....... Seattle, WA
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  • Sunday, Aug 19th ....... Spokane, WA
    Audubon Park, 2-5pm

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