Russia Tried To Start A Black 'War On Christmas,' And IT. WAS. ADORABLE.

Oh no the Russians are in your Facebooks and they are doing everything they can to drive WEDGES between AMERICANS! Like for instance, they are setting up armed white supremacist"anti-Islam" rallies for Asshole Rednecks Of Love Of Texas State Greatness, while also pretending to be Thugg Life Urban Black Mans Who Post On Internet It Is Time Of Delight To Kill Police, Yes Home People?

Well, those things would drive a wedge between those two particular factions of American life, which until now were all French kisses and above-the-clothes-second-base for each other. But the "Black People War on Christmas," as reported by the Daily Beast,probably would not.

BlackMattersUS, the "pro-black" website published by Russians with an incomplete handle on American idiom, tried. Oh they tried. What upsets white Americans? BLACK PEOPLE AND WAR ON CHRISTMAS! What upsets black Americans? GETTING KILLED FOR NO FUCKING REASON. And so you have this, the black people Christmas boycott, a boycott you perform BY BUYING THINGS:

The shirts are often nonsensical and filled with phrases that don’t make sense. One shirt, sold by the U.S. shirt printing company Represent on BlackMattersUS’ custom Christmas-themed store, reads “Dear Cops, Don’t Shoot—SUCK.” The phrase encompasses two candy canes and a Christmas ornament. [...]

Another shirt that reads “Black Power” underneath an illustration of gingerbread cookies is still live at the custom address

That is ... that is the cutest fucking thing we have EVER SEEN. Just TRY not to celebrate Christmas AND blackness with that shirt on! Thanks, Russia!

In the meantime, we got some shit you can buy.

Click through for shoppin'!

You're welcome.


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Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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