If Russia Uses Biological Weapons, These Helpful Americans Will Blame It On Ukraine

The United States appears to be sharing its intelligence on Vladimir Putin's violent loser wet dreams again. Surprise, it's about another one of Putin's false flag attacks. Everybody look surprised if Putin does this thing, OK?

This time, it's chemical or biological weapons. The Russian Defense Ministry is accusing Ukraine of getting ready to do a false flag attack and blame it on Russia. And when Russia says somebody else is going to do that, it tends to mean ...

U.S. officials say they are concerned Russia could be preparing to use chemical or biological weapons in Ukraine after the Russian Defense Ministry accused Ukraine of possibly planning a false-flag chemical weapon attack.

An administration official said the U.S. is worried that the Russians are making the claim “to justify a false-flag operation or them using chemical or biological weapons in Ukraine themselves.”

“We do believe that we should be on the lookout for Russia to possibly use chemical or biological weapons,” the official said. The U.S. is also concerned that Russia could be making the claim to justify its continued invasion of Ukraine.

Yesterday, White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki said yeah, they've heard about those "false claims" from Russia, and they've also heard China running its damn mouth about those "conspiracy theories."

She continued:

"To be clear: this is preposterous," said Psaki in a statement, referring to Russia's claims.

Now that the claims have been made, "we should all be on the lookout for Russia to possibly use chemical or biological weapons in Ukraine, or to create a false-flag operation using them. It’s a clear pattern, and no one should fall for it," she continued.

Clear pattern, you say? Like when Russia backed up its buddy Bashar al-Assad in Syria when he used chemical weapons on his own people and blamed it on them? Like the Moscow apartment bombings in 1999 that solidified Putin's power? Like how the US warned last month that Putin might very well use a false flag situation to justify invading Ukraine, since pretty much everything Putin has done vis a vis Ukraine since 2014 has been "one continuous false-flag operation," according to Jeffrey Edmonds, the former Russia director at the National Security Council under both presidents Obama and Trump?

Like how Putin began his war on Ukraine by "recognizing" the "independence" of the Donetsk and Luhansk regions, swearing they were just begging for his peacekeeping services?

Like pretty much that's the way Putin's Russia fights, just in general, when they're not intentionally leveling cities?

So yes, chemical and biological weapons. The Washington Post quotes James Heappey, the armed forces minister of the UK, who said he saw "very high-level intelligence” that Russia may use chemical weapons.

Let's play a game called 'Kremlin spokesman or Republican congressman'?

We're inclined to think this is a pretty big threat, considering the amazing number of places the Kremlin's propaganda is showing up. As usual, there are different variations on the conspiracy theory, and like the best conspiracy theories, there's a tiny sliver of truth somewhere in there, something for the Kremlin's useful idiots to hang on to, get confused about or — in this case — dishonestly conflate two things that sound kinda the same but are not in fact the same.

The general outlines are that the United States is secretly operating chemical/bio-weapons labs in Ukraine, and that Russia might just have to do something about that. Here, have some Russians:

Igor Konashenkov, the chief spokesman for Russia’s Defense Ministry, said it was “obvious that in the wake of the special military operation, the Pentagon started having serious concerns about secret biological experiments uncovered on the Ukrainian territory.”

Dmitry Chumakov, a Russian deputy United Nations ambassador, urged Western media on Wednesday to cover “the news about secret biological laboratories in Ukraine,” the Associated Press reported.

Kremlin spokeswoman Maria Zakharova also told reporters Wednesday that Russia had concluded that “in Ukrainian laboratories close to our borders, components of biological weapons were being developed.”

Rep. Thomas Massie (R-Ky.), who recently voted against a House resolution supporting Ukraine, amplified Russia’s claims Wednesday on Twitter, saying he had not taken “the concern over Ukrainian biological labs seriously … until now.”

Haha fooled you, that last one wasn't a Russian!

Igor says the Pentagon is scared Russia found our secret biological experiments in the countryside of Ukraine. Dmitry says the media should look into it. Maria says this is totally fucking happening, Russia has concluded. And THOMAS FUCKING MASSIE, REPUBLICAN CONGRESSMAN FROM KENTUCKY, says he wasn't sure it was happening before, but now he is.

Based on what? Oh just a tweet from Glenn Greenwald.

We thought we smelled borscht, but it was just Glenn Greenwald ...

Victoria Nuland is a Russia expert who has been serving Democratic administrations forever, and currently is an under secretary of State. Testifying before the Senate Foreign Relations Committee this week, Nuland confirmed that Ukraine has "biological research facilities" — FactCheck.org has a good review of what the labs in question really are, what they do, and why — and said there are concerns Russia might take control of them. She said America and Ukraine are working together to make sure that doesn't happen.

Greenwald painted this as some huge smoking gun admission, and a truly embarrassing moment for Nuland. If you read his recounting of her testimony, you'd think she was a deer caught in headlights trying to protect a secret bio-weapons lab in the forest. He acts like GOP Senator Marco Rubio really caught Nuland in a big whopper. But no, if you watch it yourself, you'll see that both Rubio and Nuland were talking about this in context of Russian propaganda about false-flag Ukrainian chemical/bio-weapons attacks, and Nuland said if there's any attack of that sort, she is 100 percent certain it will come from Russia. In fact, she said it's "classic Russian technique to blame on the other guy what they’re planning to do themselves."

As for the rest of the Greenwald post that gave Massie a Kentucky fried erection, he bitches that "self-anointed factcheckers" have "spent two weeksmocking asdisinformation and a false conspiracy theory" this notion he's currently pushing that Ukraine might have secret bio-weapons labs. He cites Russia and also China, which are both more credible to him than the "self-anointed factcheckers," we guess. He's really mad people are calling these QAnon conspiracy theories, just because they're all over QAnon message boards (where Trump and Putin are uniting to invade Ukraine to take out Dr. Fauci, of course).

From Glenn to QAnon to the Stupidest Man on the Internet to ...

But of course, these conspiracy theories are indeed being spread by QAnon figures, and as Foreign Policy explains, "The Russian government has laid the groundwork for this conspiracy for some time." There are videos on YouTube with titles like “P3nt4g0n sponsored BIOLABS in UKRAINE financed by Hun7er Bid3n!” According to Media Matters, that video has a guy who says, "I believe that that’s part of Russia’s plan is to attack some of these biolabs that are owned by … America and Illuminati characters, Bilderberg-type characters, Rothschilds, etc.”

Yep, that's the caliber of the cocaine Glenn wants us all to snort here.

Want to see a whole list of far-Right morons amplifying these claims? Media Matters has one of those. It includes Stupidest Man on the Internet Jim Hoft, who OPENLY CITES AS A SOURCE the Russian state-owned news source RIA Novosti. After Nuland's testimony, Media Matters had to make a whole new list, because this conspiracy theory is multiplying among far-Right morons like crotch crickets.

All of these people are doing Putin's work for him.

And then to Tucker ...

Speaking of, the conspiracy theory made its way to Tucker last night, because of course it did. He accused Victoria Nuland of doing false-flag disinformation attacks to poor dear innocent Russia:

TUCKER CARLSON: Okay, just get a pen. It is a classic Russian technique to blame on the other guy what they are planning to do themselves, that is what Victoria Nuland said. We almost laughed out loud. So what you are saying, Victoria Nuland, if, for example, you were funding secret bio-labs in Ukraine but wanted to hide that fact from the people who were paying for it in whose name you are doing it, then you might lie about it by claiming the Russians were lying about it. In other words, you might mount a disinformation campaign by claiming the other guy was mounting a disinformation campaign. Is that what you are saying, Victoria Nuland? It's pretty funny. What is not funny is that this is all entirely real.

Tucker almost laughed out loud when it was suggested that Russians are known for doing false-flag attacks. And then he said Nuland is the real false-flagger, and that this is all entirely real. (Note whenever Tucker says "this is real" or "this is just true." It's always a tell that he's lying, it's almost like a nervous tic.)

According to Acyn Torabi from Media Matters, Tucker even played propaganda statements from China and Russia. Apparently he said he had to, because of how America lies so much.

After Tucker's show, Jennifer Griffin, one of the only real reporters on Fox News, appeared on Hannity and debunked the everloving fuck out of the entire conspiracy theory:

The Morning After ...

In his post, Glenn Greenwald treats as some big mystery the idea that labs in Ukraine could have things inside them that could be dangerous in the wrong hands, if they are not indeed bio-weapons labs. "What is in those Ukrainian biological labs that make them so worrisome and dangerous?" he asks, like this information isn't readily available to anybody whose hands are free to Google because they're not currently jamming at Putin's prostate.

This morning in the Senate Intelligence Committee, again under questioning by Rubio, DNI Avril Haines explained that all over the world there are labs that have materials that shouldn't be misused or get into the wrong hands, and said that's what Nuland was talking about. She compared it to how nuclear power plants have materials that local residents shouldn't eat — we paraphrase! — but that doesn't mean nuclear power plants are the same as nuclear weapons.

We are sure Glenn Greenwald will post Haines's clarification and write a post about what a fucking idiot he is sometime today.

Maybe after lunch.

[NBC News / Washington Post / Media Matters]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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