Legal

Another Day, Another Story On All The Ways Bill Barr Tried To Ratf*ck The DOJ

Something to remember as he does his reputation repair tour.

Yesterday the US District Court in DC issued a scathing order in one of several recently revealed Trump-era leak investigations seeking the communications of journalists who published embarrassing details about the Russia investigation. Castigating the Justice Department for seeking to keep the details of the leak hunt locked down for all eternity, US Magistrate Judge Zia M. Faruqui wrote:

A sealed matter is not generally, as the government persists in imagining, "nailed into a nondescript crate, stored deep in a sprawling, uncataloged warehouse." Leopold, 964 F. 3d at 1133 (citing RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK (Lucasfilm Ltd. 1981)). Rather, it is merely frozen in carbonite, awaiting its eventual thawing. Cf. THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK (Lucasfilm Ltd. 1980).

Oh, yes, she did. Because federal judges are all huge freakin' dorks.

Leave aside for the moment the Garland Justice Department's continuing reluctance to reveal the backstory on the investigation, even as it discloses the journalist searches and promises to go forth and sin no more — DOJ gonna DOJ.

The real reveal here is what the Bill Barr Justice Department was fixated on in December 2020 when it filed this search request. And it was ...

... drum roll, please ...

RUSSIA WITCH HUNT!!!!1!!!

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justice department

Rude DOJ Won't Even Pay Steve Bannon's Million $$$ Legal Fees, Ain't That A Kick In The Ass!

Let Trump 'do it,' we are just kidding LOL!

Steve Bannon does not lack for chutzpah. The FOIA warriors at Business Insider just unearthed 110 pages of bills documenting upwards of a million dollars in legal fees that the president's former advisor turned podcaster would like Uncle Sam to reimburse him for. And with apologies for making you contemplate Ol' Three Shirts' wizened nether bits, we must say, THE BALLS ON THIS GUY!

"It is our understanding that the White House supports reimbursing Mr. Bannon's attorneys' fees. We are in the process of obtaining a written statement confirming the White House's agreement and will provide it to you as soon as possible," Bannon's attorney William Burck wrote to Sal D'Alessio, (acting) Director of the DOJ Civil Division's Constitutional & Specialized Tort Litigation section.

This missive was dated December 31, 2020, just three weeks before Biden's people took over the Justice Department, and less than two months after Burck fired Bannon as a client for suggesting that he'd like to cut off Dr. Anthony Fauci's head and stick it on a pike. Burck, who also represented Reince Priebus and Don McGahn in the Mueller inquiry, appears to have requested reimbursement solely for his services to Bannon, according to BI. So, make of that one what you will in regards to who stiffs their lawyers and who does not.

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POTUS

Let's Watch Old Handsome Joe Tell Us About His Meeting With That Stinker Putin!

A liveblog!

Seriously, what a stinker he is, what a li'l stinker.

Here's your video! Looks like Biden's gonna be on time! Just kidding, he's early!

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Trump

RNC APPALLED! WE SAY APPALLED! By American Presidents Who Sit Down With Vladimir Putin

A Wonkette Time Machine Flashback!

The Washington Post reported this morning on a statement from the Republican National Committee on the meeting between President Joe Biden and old Knucklefucks Putin that's wrapping up as we speak in Geneva.

The Republican National Committee on Wednesday criticized Biden's meeting with Putin even before it began, suggesting that giving Putin an audience in Geneva amounted to handing the Russian leader a win.

"Giving Putin a meeting is just the latest win that Joe Biden has handed Russia," Republican National Committee communications director Danielle Alvarez said in a statement.

The GOP also just tweeted this insane ad. We can't even describe it, you just have to watch it.

Wonkette would like to ... OK.

Wonkette would like to give Danielle Alvarez and the rest of the current RNC and GOP staff the benefit of the doubt and allow for the possibility that they are two years old and maybe therefore weren't around to see the constant slobbering and verbal rimjobs and groveling and kneeling and hero worship Donald Trump continually heaped upon Vladimir Putin. Maybe they are not old enough to read and therefore don't know that Trump is still saying RIGHT NOW that he trusts Putin more than he trusts the American government, because Trump is an anti-American piece of shit. Otherwise they're just liars with boundless contempt for the American people they think are too stupid to remember extremely recent American history.

Because Wonkette is not afraid to be service-y, we'd like to take Ms. Alvarez and the rest of the RNC back to July 16, 2018, the day Trump laid his unkempt body on the floor belly-up in Helsinki and wagged his tail in desperate hope Putin would see him and scratch him and deem him a very good boy. We will never, ever forget it. Can't imagine any American patriot who watched it ever will.

Let's get in the Wonkette Time Machine. Let's reprint the article we wrote about the joint presser Trump and Putin did that day after God Knows What happened between them behind closed doors. (By the way, Wonkette will be liveblogging President Biden's press conference later this afternoon. Putin won't be in attendance at that presser, because the current American president recognizes that Putin doesn't deserve the honor.)

It was a dark and stormy night, and the headline was

WHAT THE HOLY MOTHERFUCKING FUCK WAS THAT TRUMP-PUTIN PRESS CONFERENCE?

Wonkette began:

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