2020 presidential election

The Bloodhound Gang And The Mystery Of Congressman Cowpies' Hidden DHL Receipt!

And it's not Idiot Hour without Ron Johnson!

Remember that moment in Bill Barr's testimony on Tuesday when Rep. David Cicilline asked if it was "ever appropriate for the president to solicit or accept foreign assistance in an election," and the attorney general of the United States said, "depends what kind of assistance"?

That was your none-too-subtle reminder that Donald Trump's re-election strategy involves getting Ukraine to help him smear Joe Biden. He got impeached over it, and yet he persisted. These fuckers are still conspiring with Ukrainian gangsters to concoct dirt on Biden and his son, and if they can ever get half a news cycle that isn't dominated by COVID-19 and the disastrous economy, they'll be back to their old tricks.

So, here are three stories to flag, since Senate Republicans are clearly cooking up an October Surprise in which they will "prove" that Joe Biden somehow helped his son by carrying out the wishes of the EU, IMF, and the entire US government by getting a corrupt Ukrainian prosecutor fired.

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justice department

Uh Oh, Michael Flynn, Deep State Might Still GONNA GITCHA

Yes, this is still dragging on.

Well darnit. Michael Flynn might still be tangled in the jaws of the Deep State, poor guy. What's a man who's held a security clearance for decades and yet somehow did not know it was bad to lie to the FBI about his underhanded secret dealings with the Russians gotta do to get a break around here?

The DC Circuit Court of Appeals ruled today that they'd sure all like to hear why the hell Bill Barr wants to drop charges against Michael Flynn, who was convicted of lying to the FBI about his secret dealings with the Russians, who pleaded guilty to that TWICE, and who also pleaded to a bunch of other literal actual foreign agent crimes as part of his cooperation agreement.

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Trump Didn't Talk To Putin About Russian Bounties On American Troops, Must Have Slipped His Very Good Brain

The election is in 96 days. Fix it, America.

Hey did you forget the biggest story of three weeks ago, about how Donald Trump and his administration knew Vladimir Putin was most likely paying Taliban fighters to murder American troops in Afghanistan, and Trump couldn't even be bothered to slap Putin on the wrist? This happened, as far as we can tell, because A) Trump doesn't really care about dead American troops' bodies, just like he obviously doesn't care about Americans dying of coronavirus, and B) he is in awe of Vladimir Putin, who controls and/or scares him. That's whatcha get when you allow an un-American compromised crybaby shitheel to live in the Oval Office.

We haven't forgotten the story, and thank God, the "Axios on HBO" people didn't either. In an interview, they asked Trump if on his many recent phone calls with Putin, he thought to raise the issue of Putin paying Taliban fighters actual money to murder American troops.


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justice department

Liveblogging Bill Barr's Lie Garbage, Because This Week Wasn't Terrible Enough Yet

98 days until the election. 98 days.

Good morning! At very long last, Donald Trump's sniveling henchman at Justice, Attorney General Bill Barr, will be sitting down in the House Judiciary Committee to face griling from Democrats. And where will they even start? It's been so long since he's testified, and the sheer number of abuses of power Barr has helped Trump commit in the past few months are breathtaking.

We haven't heard from him since before Trump was impeached, so there are all the questions about how Barr helped Trump abuse power by working to hide the Ukraine whistleblower complaint from Congress, and absolving Trump of all guilt related to that, and by "that," we mean how Trump extorted a country that was attacked by one of our adversaries to help him steal the 2020 election.

And there are all the rule of law abuses of power since then, like the fuckery with the Roger Stone sentencing and the fuckery with the Michael Flynn case.

And there's the fuckery with Barr's bumblefucked machinations to interfere with the work of the Southern District of New York AND the Eastern District of New York AND the Washington DC US attorney's office, in order to protect Donald Trump from any investigations that might endanger him.

And there's his precious John Durham investigation, where the US attorney from Connecticut is INVESTIGATIN' THE INVESTIGATORS, to "prove" that Barack Obama and the FBI did OBAMAGATE to Trump and FRAMED him for a RUSSIAN HOAX. (Expect Republicans to waste a lot of time on that today.)

And oh God, all of that is aside from what will perhaps be top of mind for many lawmakers, namely what exact fucking Gestapo is he using to attack American cities and create chaos for the benefit of Donald Trump in advance of the 2020 election. You know, that little thing.

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