Ruth Bader Ginsburg Too Busy For Cancer, Already Back At Work, F*CKIN' TOLD Y'ALL SO

WHAT DID WE SAY? Ah, we remember it well, because it was just Friday! We had just heard news that Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg had undergone surgery to remove two malignant nodes on one of her lungs, and everybody was like OMG DO NOT DIE, JUSTICE GINSBURG, YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO DIE! PLEASE ACCEPT AS MANY OF MY LUNGS AS YOU WOULD LIKE AND ALSO TELL ME YOU'LL BE OK!

And we said that sure, it's scary to hear that news, especially for the justice herself, since it's her health we are talking about after all. We also said that she is a tough woman, she's healthier than you are (fact), and that she would be back to bench pressing YOUR DAD within days.

Were we right? Pffffffft, when is Wonkette not right?

Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg is up and working as she recuperates from cancer surgery.

A spokeswoman for the court, Kathy Arberg, also says that Ginsburg remained in New York at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center on Sunday.

That's right, RBG has turned her room at Sloan Kettering into JUDGE'S CHAMBERS, so she can kick Trump's ass from there. Despite how Bill O'Reilly was giggle-jizzing himself on Twitter over the possibility of RBG dying -- in the most concern-troll-y way possible -- she is already back at it, because fuck two little dumb tiny cancers that just got removed from her body, she will smash them with her judge's gavel just like she did her previous cancers, and then she will bench press YOUR DAD. Hell, she voted to uphold a federal judge's ruling on Trump's cruel and stupid new asylum policy FROM HER BED.

As the AP notes, the court doesn't meet again until January 7. We assume RBG will get out of the hospital before then, run several marathons, climb Mount Everest, retrieve a treasure chest from the bottom of the ocean and rearrange her junk drawer YES WE SAID REARRANGE HER JUNK DRAWER, the one with the rubber bands and all the Taco Bell sauces, by January 6, so she can go to bed early and be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed on the 7th.

Or if her doctors say she's still "recovering" and can't leave the hospital, she'll probably just make the whole entire Supreme Court come to her and then it will be a contest to see whether Clarence Thomas or Brett Kavanaugh gets banned first from the hospital for sexually harassing nurses. (Our money is on Clarence.)

Anyway, the point is that RBG is going to be fine and you are going to be fine and we are going to be fine and let's all have a Merry Fucking The Holidays, THE END.

And we guess this is your open thread, because you probably got a couple things to do, maybe, we don't know, so HAPPY CHRISTMAS, GOODBYE.


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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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