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she's schemin'


Time for another Wonkette Olympics Update! Is it about Lindsey Vonn going for her second gold medal in the downhill tonight? No, but that's happening! Is it about the ladies' figure skating competition starting tonight, featuring American Mirai Nagasu, who made history as the first woman to land a triple axel at the Olympics last week during the team skating competition? No, but that is happening too!

Is this post about how Canada's Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir became the first ice dancing couple in history to successfully perform a Triple Face Sit at the Olympics last night, which earned them yet another gold medal?

Thank you, Deadspin, for making this .GIF for us to lovingly borrow.

NO, YOU IDIOTS, this is about Adam Rippon, though that Virtue and Moir thing would deserve its own post if somebody at Jezebel hadn't already written everything we had to say about it LAST WEEK.

This Olympics news update involves two of our very favorite things. As we said, it includes Adam Rippon, because we LURVE him. But it also includes Sally Field, who, on top of being the greatest at absolutely everything, played the best TV mom of all time in our humble and correct opinion, Nora Walker on "Brothers & Sisters."

On the show, Nora Walker's middle son Kevin is gay. In real life, Sally Field's son Sam Greisman is gay. And oh boy, Sam loves him some Adam Rippon, almost as much as we love Adam Rippon. (FIGHT US, SAM.)

This story began last week when Sam and his mom were texting about how hot Adam Rippon is, like good mothers do with their gay sons:

FIND. A. WAY.

Of course, Sally Field suddenly remembered she is Sally Field/Nora Walker, beloved patron saint of the entire homosexual diaspora, so she called upon her powers:

Unfortunately, Sam had temporarily forgotten his mother was Sally Field/Nora Walker, beloved patron saint of the entire homosexual diaspora, so he was like GAAAAAH MOM:

Sally Field told BuzzFeed her son was "mortified," and that she had to stop match-making now, to which we reply, HI SALLY, if Sam is being a pill and acting like he is so embarrassed, you can match-make for us ANY DAMN TIME.

BuzzFeed got Adam Rippon on the record, and after he queened out a little bit about SALLY FIELD OMG, he said this:

Sam, your mom -- I admire her. And I'm sure one day we're going to meet! So thanks, mom.

DEAD.

We reiterate to Sally Field that if Sam is being a pain in the ass about this, she is ABSOLUTELY FREE TO ADOPT A WONKETTE, and we will let her set us up with whomever she'd like, as she clearly has the best judgment.

Come on, Sally. What would Nora Walker do?

OK, here's your open thread, byeeeeeee.

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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[Towleroad / BuzzFeed]

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Roger Stone, you got some 'splainin' to do, Mister! Remember all those times Stone swore on his Nixon tattoo that he never had any contact with Russians, wasn't a campaign surrogate, and wasn't tipped off to stolen DNC emails in advance? Like that time he told the Washington Post:

"I've never been to Russia. I didn't talk to anybody who was identifiably Russian during the two-year run-up to this campaign," he said. "I very definitely can't think of anybody who might have been a Russian without my knowledge. It's a canard."

Stone told the House Intelligence Committee the same thing last September, but, LOL FUNNY STORY! Seems that Stone just plum forgot about that time in May, 2016 when Trump communications advisor Michael Caputo asked him to meet with Henry Greenberg, "a man with a Make America Great Again hat and a viscous Russian accent." The Washington Post reports, Greenberg was offering sexxxxy Russian dirts on Hillary Clinton, which Stone and Caputo were only too happy to grab by the pussy. But they just couldn't get there!

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Congressman Beto O'Rourke, who hopes to replace Ted Cruz in the US Senate this fall, is one of several Texas and El Paso leaders participating in a march to the just-opened tent city at the US/Mexico border in Tornillo, Texas, where children have already been imprisoned "placed."

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