Sally Yates Throws Shade Across DC. Wonkagenda for May, 09, 2017
Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.
- Sally Yates went (back) to Washington to tell Congress how she was "You're Fired" by Trump for saying mean things about Mike Flynn and Russia.
- Trump might try to re-re-invade Afghanistan in an effort to create a distraction and boost to his poll numbers, just like the last two Republican presidents.
- Mitch McConnell is going to do whatever the hell he wants with TrumpCare/WealthCare/FuckThePoorsCare so that he can give Trump a win, and there isn't a damn thing you or your vaginas can do about it! We're looking at you, Lisa Murkowski and Susan Collins!
- Did you know that, if it TrumpCare/WealthCare passes, your employer-mandated insurance coverage and benefits could be reduced, if not cut entirely simply so that businesses can save money on their bottom line? Don't worry -- it'll generate so much new health that health will trickle down to you!
- According to Spicey, Trump ignored Obama's warnings about Mike Flynn because Obama was obviously super jelly. Besides, if Obama thought Flynn was trouble why did he appoint him to Trump's cabinet in the first place?
- Trump's White House is postponing talks on the Paris Climate Accords (AGAIN) because they are busy learning to words gooder before using brain meat on tree things.
- Don't ask Iowa Rep. Rod Blum why he's pre-screening constituents before his town halls, they're all still yelling at him anyway.
- Federal Reserve Chair Janet Yellen says hiring more women would spur economic growth; clearly her lady hole is making her biased, and a sexist. IMPEACH!
- Paul Ryan's on the road quietly pushing his tax reform agenda, and he'd really appreciate if you didn't talk about all the fundraisers and talky-times he's doing. Thanks!
- John McCain wrote a mean letter to REXXON for abandoning American values, but that's before he found out we're going (back) to war.
- George Will will join MSNBC, clearly an attempt to attract more youths.
- Local teevee stations might start to sound a little different now that a right-leaning media conglomerate is gobbling up broadcasters across the country, and smalltown journos are worried.
- Alex Jones's ex-wife held a press conference and said she's not sure how he has any viewers left after he turned his crazy dial up to 11 during his custody hearing, giving us another chance to point and laugh at Alex Jones.
- The ACLU filed a major suit against the Madison County Sheriffs Department over alleged racist practices even though Jeff Sessions thinks explicitly targeting poor and minority communities is just good policing. Silly civil liberties!
- GOP SuperPACs are turning up the heat on Georgia Democrat Jon Ossoff, with campaign ads featuring young men in pigtails because nothing scares rednecks more than than gender fluidity.
- The Family Research Council is full religious butthurt because the Senate might appoint Kristin Goodwin to be the first openly gay commandant of the U.S. Air Force Academy. If we taunt God like that, maybe He won't hold our jets up in the air anymore!
- South Korea's Moon Jae-in is expected to become the next president of South Korea, which could shake up much of the Pacific, and make Trump's hard line efforts against North Korea a little difficult.
- Messican smugglers can't wait for Trump to build his Tortilla Curtain so they can start price gouging the illegal drug trade.
- WAIT A MINUTE - Did James Comey lie in front of Congress about HER EMAILS? IMPEACH!
- Here's some extra-special nice time, DC Fire and EMS saving some adorable ducklings from a storm drain.
- And here's your late night wrap-up! Seth Meyers took A Closer Look at Mike Flynn; Colbert speculated on TrumpCare ambulances, and talked to Bill Nye the Science Guy; and Jimmy Kimmel apologized for making an emotional plea for healthcare last week, and talked to Sen. Bill Cassidy; and The Daily Show had a real, live, female-person 'splainer women's health to the all-male healthcare panel.
- And here's your morning Nice Time! Curious gibbons!
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