Same Judge Kicks Trump In Dick Third Night In Row Over January 6 Docs

Same Judge Kicks Trump In Dick Third Night In Row Over January 6 Docs
Loop Trump GIF

Ooh boy, if we were Dr. Ruth, we'd say Donald Trump has a fetish for getting the same judge to kick him in the dick three days in a row.

Two nights ago, Judge Tanya Chutkan dropped that hilarious mixtape on Trump where she explained that "Presidents are not kings, and Plaintiff is not President," therefore she would not help him hide all his documents from the House January 6 Select Committee. That was after Monday night, when Chutkan said PFFFFFFT to Trump's emergency request begging her to tell the National Archives not to turn his documents over to the committee.

Yesterday, Trump asked Chutkan to please issue a preliminary injunction against her own Tuesday night decision, because after all he is appealing, and Chutkan dropped another order last night explaining that she hasn't run out of ways to kick Trump in the dick. Or in other words, the answer is no.

Trump, the judge said, cannot "do an end run around" her decisions to try to win the case by forcing a delay, just because he's appealing.

Chutkan has stood by her decision that documents from Trump's presidency should be given to the House panel. She also found that Trump, as a former President, cannot claim the documents are covered by executive privilege, when the current President supports their release.

If you read Chutkan's ruling, it is very couched in the legalese of how plaintiff has a right to do this and judge has a right to kick plaintiff in dick and whatnot — Wonkette Legal Paraphrase! — but it's clear the clock is running out. Chutkan writes:

Plaintiff, as is his right, has sought review of this court's denial of his Motion for a Preliminary Injunction. And the court is aware that the timeline for appellate review of that decision will be accelerated. But nothing in the court's November 9, 2021, Order, or this Order, triggers the harm he alleges because the Archivist will not submit the requested records to the Select Committee until November 12, 2021, and Plaintiff can seek appellate relief in the interim. This court will not effectively ignore its own reasoning in denying injunctive relief in the first place to grant injunctive relief now.

Trump is, of course, free to now beg the appeals court for help, but it is Thursday and it is a federal holiday, and the National Archives is set to start handing documents over to Liz Cheney and the rest of the committee tomorrow. So we kind of love how the judge above is like "PSHAW you have until Friday, stop pooping your britches everywhere." (More Wonkette legal paraphrase!)

Point is that oh no, Donald Trump, today is Thursday and the National Archives is right now tying the documents in a bow and putting a card on them that says "DEAR LIZ CHENEY AND ADAM SCHIFF, HERE IS ALL THE CRIME EVIDENCE YOU REQUESTED ON DONALD TRUMP, WHO NO LONGER HAS THE PROTECTIONS OF THE PRESIDENCY."

Short of a court order, the Archives will turn over more than 40 pages on Friday related to January 6, including White House visitor and call logs and three handwritten memos from the files of ex-White House chief of staff Mark Meadows.

In summary and in conclusion, UH OH! UH OH! UH OH!


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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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