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Santa Monica Resident Obsessed With Angelina Jolie, Salt Water

News
  • The Pentagon will allow journalists to photograph the caskets of returning war dead, now that the war's almost over. [Los Angeles Times]
  • Congratulations, America! You're about to become a 36 percent stakeholder in yet another useless bank. [CNN Money]
  • Barack Obama's new budget proposal takes the legacy of Ronald Reagan, poops on it, and sets it on fire with a propane torch subsidized by the top 2 percent of earners. [New York Times]
  • You know who likes President Obama's Iraq troop withdrawal plan? John McCain. This spells Doom for the measure. [Washington Post]
  • Bank of America CEO Ken Lewis was hauled like a crook before New York's attorney general and forced to discuss how a bunch of Merrill Lynch bankers got $3 billion in bonuses just before the failing company was acquired by B of A. [Bloomberg]
  • A little female octopus in the Santa Monica Pier Aquarium flooded the offices near her exhibit by messing with a tank valve. It was a desperate cry for help from an obviously imbalanced creature with no way to support or care for her eight arms. [Los Angeles Times]
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Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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Roger Stone, you got some 'splainin' to do, Mister! Remember all those times Stone swore on his Nixon tattoo that he never had any contact with Russians, wasn't a campaign surrogate, and wasn't tipped off to stolen DNC emails in advance? Like that time he told the Washington Post:

"I've never been to Russia. I didn't talk to anybody who was identifiably Russian during the two-year run-up to this campaign," he said. "I very definitely can't think of anybody who might have been a Russian without my knowledge. It's a canard."

Stone told the House Intelligence Committee the same thing last September, but, LOL FUNNY STORY! Seems that Stone just plum forgot about that time in May, 2016 when Trump communications advisor Michael Caputo asked him to meet with Henry Greenberg, "a man with a Make America Great Again hat and a viscous Russian accent." The Washington Post reports, Greenberg was offering sexxxxy Russian dirts on Hillary Clinton, which Stone and Caputo were only too happy to grab by the pussy. But they just couldn't get there!

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