Sarah Huckabee
Arkansas Governor Sarah Huckabee Sanders has signed a bill commissioning a work of art — a "monument of the unborn," meant to pay homage to all of the not-actual-lives lost before the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade last year. It will, we assume, be going right next to the monument to the Ten Commandments.
Arkansas banned abortions last year and only allows them to save the life of the mother in a medical emergency, which probably means a whole lot of patients are gonna die while their doctors figure out if it's enough of an emergency to help them. Cute!
According to Fox, the bill "requires the Capitol Arts and Grounds Commission to oversee the selection of the artist and the design of the monument, which will include input from pro-life groups."
Oh, can you just imagine? Input from "pro-life" groups. Can you even imagine what those creepy fuckers would come up with?
Now, I'm sure they're not going to ask me to design the monument, but I do have some ideas!
Pile Of Dead Babies With One Living Baby Eating Its Way Out
Perhaps one of the most memorable Dead Baby jokes of all time (and in fact the only one I remember other than "What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari?" "I don't have a Ferrari in my garage."), this sculpture would pay homage to the legendary perseverance of the one living baby at the bottom of the pile eating its way out. Why? Because honestly it's the absolute first thing that popped into my head.
Baby pile | Lars Plougmann | Flickrwww.flickr.com
Of course, to be more accurate, it couldn't so much be a pile of babies as it would have to be a gooey pile of small clumps of cells with no live babies doing anything at all.
Barefoot And Pregnant In The Kitchen
Thanks to Arkansas's anti-abortion laws, men will now have the freedom to keep their wives barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, instead of always running off to silly "jobs."
Sitzend | Torsten Mangner | Flickrwww.flickr.com
Woman With Gun To Her Head
Bette Davis in 'Dead Ringer'
Self-explanatory!
Uterus With Arkansas State Flag Planted In It
Obviously this is not exactly what I had in mind, but it's what the stupid AI thing came up with and honestly I don't have time to do a whole Photoshop thing because I took forever trying to get a screenshot of the exact scene I wanted from Dead Ringer (in which we can see Bette Davis holding the gun to her twin, Also Bette Davis's head, which would have been perfect) and failed. But you get where I'm going with it, right?
Pregnant Person Dying Of Sepsis
Yeah, no one needs to actually see that.
The scary thing is, as horrifying as these ideas are, whatever they come up with is going to be 10 times worse than any of this, and it's going to be dead serious. And people are going to have to look at it every time they go to the state capitol and they are going to have to be reminded who has ultimate control over their bodies.
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