Sarah Huckabee Sanders Delivers The Christian Fascist White Grievance Incel Shut-In SOTU Response

We're told that when Sarah Huckabee Sanders finished giving the white Christian Fascist response to Joe Biden's State of the Union address, the MSNBC anchors were silent and agog. When he saw excerpts from the speech earlier in the day, Andrew Lawrence from Media Matters quipped, "I see Republicans decided to go with 'mass shooter manifesto' vibes for their response."

Which is perfect, really, because is the average Republican message really fundamentally any different these days from the far-right white incel replacement theoryculture war grievance gobbledygook authorities so often find after mass shootings? We'd say it's a matter of degree, but is that even true anymore? We feel like they've escalated.

So it was that Mike Huckabee's bumpkin daughter, who has pathologically lied and failed her way into the governorship of the great state of Arkansas — hailing from there we used to say Arkansans deserved better, but we reckon that was wishful thinking on our part — delivered these creepy words.

Follow along!

(We are not including EVERY word, good Lord, ain't nobody got time for that much of Sarah Sanders's deranged hick bullshit.)

SANDERS: Being a mom to three young children taught me not to believe every story I hear.

Coulda learned that from watching thine own White House press briefings, madam.

But yes, good, kick it right off with the nihilistic fascist gaslighting, that's how to hook 'em.

So forgive me for not believing much of anything I heard tonight from President Biden.

Bored already, let's skip to the NSFW parts.

I’ll be the first to admit, President Biden and I don’t have a lot in common. I’m for freedom. He’s for government control.

Wanking motion dot gif.

At 40, I’m the youngest governor in the country. At 80, he’s the oldest president in American history. I’m the first woman to lead my state. He’s the first man to surrender his presidency to a woke mob that can’t even tell you what a woman is.

"Woke mob," DRINK! Bashing transgender people, DRINK DRINK!

In the radical Left’s America, Washington taxes you and lights your hard-earned money on fire, but you get crushed with high gas prices, empty grocery shelves, and our children are taught to hate one another on account of their race, but not to love one another or our great country.

We guess if you're a particularly weak and unintelligent loser type of white person it might feel like that. But here we go with those mass shooter manifesto vibes, we guess.

Whether Joe Biden believes this madness or is simply too weak to resist it, his administration has been completely hijacked by the radical Left. The dividing line in America is no longer between Right or Left. The choice is between normal or crazy.

Ain't that the damn truth.


Upon taking office just a few weeks ago I signed Executive Orders to ban CRT, racism, and indoctrination in our schools, eliminate the use of the derogatory term ‘Latinx’ in our government, repealed COVID orders and said never again to authoritarian mandates and shutdowns.

She dressed up and acted out a Tucker Carlson monologue, how impressive.

Blah blah Biden destroyed Donald Trump's beautiful border with fentanyl, blah blah "violent criminals roam free, while law-abiding families live in fear." Remember the end of Trump's inauguration speech when George W. Bush leaned over to Hillary Clinton and said, "that was some weird shit"?

The weird shit is every Republican speech now.

Blah blah "from Afghanistan to Ukraine, from North Korea to Iran, President Biden's weakness puts our nation and the world at risk." Obviously also some scaremongering about China. Wouldn't you rather have a president who kissed Vladimir Putin on his rectals, betrayed and blackmailed Ukraine, and exchanged sex notes with Kim Jong-Un?

And while you reap the consequences of their failures, the Biden administration seems more interested in woke fantasies than the hard reality Americans face every day.

"Woke fantasies," DRINK!

Most Americans simply want to live their lives in freedom and peace, but we are under attack in a leftwing culture war we didn’t start and never wanted to fight. Every day, we are told that we must partake in their rituals, salute their flags, and worship their false idols ...

Funny words about flags and forced worship coming from a party that has a prolonged hate-gasm every time a Black person kneels during the national anthem to mildly suggest maybe they don't want to get murdered by a police officer.

Then again, the Grammy Awards did just force them all to become transgender Satanists, and we are sure the Super Bowl this weekend will somehow do it too.

all while big government colludes with Big Tech to strip away the most American thing there is — your freedom of speech. That’s not normal. It’s crazy, and it’s wrong.

Oh no, did a Donald Trump Jr. tweet not get enough likes again? Talk to your boy, that shit is not our problem anymore.

Make no mistake: Republicans will not surrender this fight.

Will they attack it like a common US Capitol?

Sanders talked about her alma mater, which happens to be Little Rock Central High. She bragged about signing decrees to ban Arkansas children from learning the types of history lessons that would offend Arkansas's slaveowners, and she spoke with a forked tongue about the "progress our country has made." She called the Republican crusade to protect a specifically white vision of education "the civil rights issue of our day." And she babbled boilerplate dogwhistling Republican talking points about "real choices" and "failing schools."

It was funny when she told a "sir"-type story on behalf of Donald Trump, about traveling to Iraq and soldiers yelling, "Mr. President, I reenlisted in the military because of you!" and Donald Trump saying "And son, I am here because of you," like he's Jesus or something. Really, Governor? Were there tears in their eyes? Did they call him "Sir"?

And then she told a "sir" story of her own, except they didn't call her "sir," that's just the sound of her Arkansas accent saying her own name.

Shortly after, that young soldier came up to me and said, ‘Sarah, you have a tough job.’ I told him, ‘What I do is nothing. You take bombs and bullets. That’s a tough job. And in a moment that I know I’ll cherish for the rest of my life, that soldier reached up, and pulled the Brave Rifles Patch he wore on his shoulder and placed it into my hand, a sign of ultimate respect, and said, ‘Sarah, we are in this together.' Overwhelmed with emotion and speechless, I just hugged him, with tears in my eyes and a grateful heart for our heroes who keep us free.

Hahahahahaha bull fucking shit, asshole.

Shortly after, with a couple meaningless "God bless Americas," it was over.

It was some weird shit, indeed.

[Transcript via KAIT 8 Jonesboro]

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter right here!

And once that doesn't exist, I'm also giving things a go at the Mastodon ( and at Post!

Have you heard that Wonkette DOES NOT EXIST without your donations? Please hear it now, and if you have ever enjoyed a Wonkette article, throw us some bucks, or better yet, SUBSCRIBE! Don't use Paypal for your new monthly donations for the moment, though, we are having some long and boring ISSUES.

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons.

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc