Sarah Palin Even Lies About Lipstick! (Maybe)
Oh dudes here is a SCURRILOUS RUMOR we just received, possibly from somebody in America's Meth/Tattoo Capital of Wasilla, Alaska. The email is, uh, difficult to follow. But the central claim is this: Sarah Palin doesn't even put that lipstick on her mouth, because it's a TATTOO. Oh jesus christ, she is so gross, especially if this is true.
Here's the email. We appreciate the tip, of course, but it's odd to see someone completely bungle a simple email:
Date: Wed, Sep 10, 2008 at 2:59 PM
Subject: tip on Sarah Pallin
Notes: Sarah's sister in-law owns a beauty parlor in Wasilla...apparently Sarah's lip liner is tattooed on...not sure what to do with that one.
leak to wonkette
What follows are the names and home/cell numbers of two women (Michelle and Mary) who apparently live in Wasilla and, uh, keep notes of their conversations, and conclude, naturally, that "leak to wonkette" is the answer to pretty much any question. And then a different person sends us these weird notes. And they spell "Palin" wrong.
Anyway! Take that, everybody! There is no lipstick involved. Sarah Palin's offensive speech at the RNC, in which she claimed to be a dog who played hockey and wore lipstick, is a stinking lie, maybe, because these are the kind of people who think it's fine to TATTOO THEIR MOUTHS.
We were going to do some "internet research" on this, but there are like 5,000 "beauty parlors" in Wasilla, all with names like "Country Cutts" and "Legally Blonde" and "Hello Gorgeous" and "Prima Facie," which is listed as a place that does "permanent lip liner" and now its website is mysteriously GONE FROM THE INTERNET so Sarah Palin had all these people killed and now they're buried in the rocks, in the gravel pit.