Donate

Oh look, Wonkette Baby is watching her first playoff game!


Good morning, Wonke-RINOS. Haha just kidding, you are not RINOs, you are not even Republicans, pfffffft. (Unless you are, in which case have we met?) Anyway, it is time for us to put liquor in our Saturday morning coffee and catch up on all the best stories we missed. Surprise! They're mostly about Sarah Palin's terrible horrible no good very good "OH MOOSEPOOP!" sorta week.

[contextly_sidebar id="GT1G6vGt2aRQIFE6rpDlZsMY63ckHPfa"]But first, have you read your Wonkette State Of The Wonkette Union post? You need to right now! Learn about all the things we did with your Love Gifts in 2015, and what we will do in 2016!

And THEN you should find it in your hearts and your pants to throw us some Love Gifts! Let's see, how many should you give us? How about $5, $10, or $25, or you can even use Cuban-Canadian ameros like foreigner Ted Cruz likes! (Just kidding, we want American dollars.) What's that? You want another new Wonkette baby picture? OK.

'SUP, FOOLS?

OK, here is your weekly top ten list, chosen as usual by science:

1. In re: Sarah Palin's shitty ass week. Your number one super best post of the week was when Sarah said it was Obama's fault her son Track (allegedly!) punched his girlfriend in the face.

2. Time for this week's Off The Menu, which was even MORE stories of the worstest restaurant customers ever.

3. Honest question: How drunk was Sarah Palin when she endorsed Trump, on a scale of "burp!" to "in jail with her son Track."

4. Surprise, Carly Fiorina's blue dress is cakey-caked up with extramarital jizz too.

5. Fox News focus group SO MAD they can't do racism in public anymore.

6. The original story, when Sarah Palin's week went to hell: Track Palin beated up a lady with his gun, allegedly.

7. And then the next morning, Sarah cold skipped a Trump rally. But she probably had a good hangover, we mean reason.

8. Oregon militia idiot steals gubmint truck for vital snack run, goes directly to jail.

9. Maureen Dowd is high again, and she's real mad at Hillary Clinton for being a woman.

10. Deleted Comments: Don't you backwardass imbred liberals understand liberty AT ALL?

So there you go, Wonkers. That's your assigned reading for this weekend.

Now you have one task left, and one task only. There is a sign-up thing below, for the Wonkette newsletter, which is a special secret love note you get in your "box" every day! Don't you want us to whisper sweet nothings into your "box"? THEN SIGN UP!

Now go away, just kidding you can stay, just kidding fuck off, we love you.

Love,

Wonket

[wysija_form id="2"]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc