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After it became clear last night that Donald Trump is actually going to be the Republican nominee for President of the United States (LOLFOREVER), Sarah Palin posted a clearly unscripted video to her Facebook page. It's hard to tell what she is even talking about in it, but it's quite clear that she is very confident that her traditional, world famous Word Salad would bring all the "Smart Democrats" to Donald Trump's yard.


Thank you Indiana, thanks for all your hard work. To all of you that have believed in making a real difference in our politics and in the way things have been done in the past that have put America in a pretty 'puckarious' position. Thank you so much for supportin' Trump and believing in this idea of being able to Make America Great Again! We're finally on the road to do so, but we do have to unite first.

So GOP, Independents and smart Democrats. Truly it is time to come together, pull together. Remember that united we will stand, our country will stand united. Divided, we're gonna fall. So, now after participating in some really healthy, kinda arduous competition, now, more than ever, it's time to come together and put some differences aside. Stand on principle. That principle that 'yeah, we have opportunity to Make America Great Again.' We've needed a revolution, and we found a revolutionary. So thanks for all your hard work. Congratulations Donald J. Trump! And here we go, on the road, to Make America Great Again.

Ah yes. Let us all unite behind the principle that "yeah, we have opportunity to Make America Great Again." Also, the principles that "the best part of wakin' up is Folgers in your cup," that cotton is the fabric of our lives, that you're in good hands with Allstate, and that, at Burger King, you really can have it your way. Join the TRUE revolution, led by a rich old white dude grumbling about immigrants and menstruating women. He shall be the one to lead us, the one to unite us.

This is definitely a thing that will happen, and not some kind of sad delusion brought on by spoiled moose meat, the Dunning-Krueger effect, and a delusional belief that she, Sarah Palin, and Donald J. Trump are people the majority of Americans agree with and think are not terrible and frightening. Because if you say something enough, it will come true. Even if all the polls show that Trump would lose horribly to Clinton and even worse to Bernie Sanders! Even if all the state-by-state polls show that it would have been incredibly difficult for ANY Republican to get enough electoral votes to win, and that Donald J. Trump has the worst chance of all of them. Even if 70 percent of women hate his guts, and all the non-white people hate his guts! If he and Sarah Palin just keep SAYING that everyone loves him and will unite behind him, surely it will come true.

Surely.

[Sarah Palin Facebook]

Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse

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NYT video screenshot

The New York Times this weekend brought us a case study of how Donald Trump's family separation policy tore apart just one family last year, although this particular example is notable because it involves the youngest child known -- so far -- to have been taken from his parents at the US-Mexico border. Little Constantin Mutu was just four months old when he was taken from his father, Vasile, a Romanian seeking asylum in the USA, having believed all that outdated crap about the Statue of Liberty being the "Mother of Exiles." What a sap! We're not letting those tempest-tossed takers push US around any more!

Constantin was taken from his dad in February of 2018, a good two months before the Trump administration officially announced the family separation policy -- but which we now know had been operating covertly since the summer of 2017 before it was expanded last year. Vasile and Florentina Mutu, members of the Roma ethnic minority, came to the US seeking asylum after Florentina found out that when she'd had a C-section while giving birth to Constantin, the doctors had also sterilized her without her knowing it. She said she was handed papers while she was foggy from the pain of labor, and had no idea what she was signing, and reporter Caitlin Dickerson notes "human rights groups have documented the practice of forced sterilizations" of Roma elsewhere in Europe.

And the Mutus had heard all sorts of wonderful things about America, too. They made a living by leaving their village and begging or doing short-term labor around Europe, then going home, where life was less expensive, but some people from their village had reputedly gone to the US and become rich, although maybe those stories were exaggerated. Still,

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Spinal Tap - Gimme Some Money

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