Sarah Palin Pretty Sure Sarah Palin To Thank For GOP Midterm Tidal Wave

Sarah Palin, remember her? She was that lady who socialized Alaska's oil, fought the good old boy network, and broke the glass ceiling in the Land of the Midnight Sun? We know, it's hard to place her, due to her eschewing of the limelight and total unwillingness to say whatever crazy shit popped into her brainsponge. Just a head-down, nose-to-the-grindstone "get er done" kind of woman. The kind the phrase "if you want something done, ask a busy person" was written for.

Palin, the former half-term governor of the republic's 47th largest state, has been grinding that nose and campaigning all over these Americas for real conservatives -- not your phony "Republican" kind -- and is it so much to ask for just a little bit of thanks?

And so she took to the pages of FacePlace, and writed a thing.

The Democrats got mauled today, deservedly so. To prohibit that from happening to the GOP in 2016, it must learn the lesson from the last time Republicans held the Senate majority. This time they must not retreat, and it's our responsibility to hold them accountable. Will they fight for reform that aligns with the limited government planks of the Republican platform, or will they return to the big government cronyism and status quo favored by the permanent political class? Will they drain the swamp or decide the D.C. cesspool is really just a jacuzzi they can't wait to jump on into and shake us off?

Sarah Palin has special credibility on the issue of big government cronyism, because she defeated the Bridge to Nowhere wait no she didn't.

So, establishment types, remember that you didn’t build this! This majority that swept you into power tonight is thanks to the rank and file commonsense conservative grassroots. That’s who built it. And they expect results. They deserve the best for America.

Thank you, SarahPAC supporters. Congratulations, USA! God, please bless our future.

Oh, yes, the SarahPAC supporters! The ones who gave her $2.6 million dollars this cycle, of which $160,000 -- or, let's see, math, five percent! -- went to candidates! Yes, Sarah Palin and her devoted rubes definitely made the difference in the GOP tidal wave that was the 2014 midterms.

Don't ever stop, Sarah Palin. Just don't ever, ever, ever stop.

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc