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Sarah Palin Signs Mannequin Head Of Sarah Palin, For Democracy

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Sarah Palin flew Coldmiser Airlines all the way to Atlanta to stump for Karen Handel, her mini-me running for Georgia governor in a primary runoff against Democrat Nathan Deal. A local lady wig peddler brought down this Sarah Palin mannequin head for "the real Palin" -- for does such a thing exist? -- to autograph. Well, wouldn't you do the same?


Palin used the vernacular "Hotlanta" to impress the easily-impressed crowd, and also seemed to outshine Handel with her undeniable star power, reports Thomas Wheatley of the Creative Loafing alt-weekly. (Disclosure: Wheatley is your author's far-flung co-worker, thanks to franchising magic.) But not everyone was creaming their Pajama Jeans over the Alaskan princess: Wheatley reported that this guy wanted a refund on her autobiography. Palin had him ejected from the premises and eaten by a bear she had brought along with her, for heckler-eating purposes, and then made fun of nearby CNN, to hurt its feelings. [Creative Loafing]

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Fox news, the preeminent home of White Jesus and White Santa Claus, had a bit of a dustup this weekend involving a Black Democrat, a Trump staffer, and of course, black people picking cotton. As many of you may recall, Republicans often have this antebellum fantasy of black Democrats living on a plantation, probably owned by Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, trapped and desperate for "Free Market Solutions" to our mental slavery. So, it was absolutely no surprise at all when we heard White House advisor David Bossie tell black Democratic consultant Joel Payne that he was "out of his cotton picking mind," on Fox News Sunday. First of all, let me mention that this segment was about how victimized Republicans are because people keep calling them racist for saying and doing so many racist things. Like when people call Republicans Nazis for supporting baby concentration camps, BECAUSE IT'S MEAN AND HURTS THEIR RACIST FEELINGS. Man, they whine a lot.

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Scott Pruitt has been busy crooking up a storm since he became head of the Environmental Protection Agency, which he has dedicated his life to destroying. He's managed to stay under the radar somewhat because he works for an administration that kidnaps children, which is a bold but effectively distracting front for his grifting. It also helps that Congressional Republicans, including House Speaker Paul Ryan, routinely claim ignorance of his existence.

Unfortunately for Pruitt, the Office of the Special Counsel is very much aware he exists.

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