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Inveterate Liar Sarah Huckabee Sanders Hopes Y'all Will Remember How 'Honest' She Was

White House

After 500 years working as the White House Press Secretary, soul snatcher and country-ass liar Sarah Huckabee Sanders is set to be packing her shit as the "Cheers" theme song plays on her iTunes. Stepping lightly across the carpeted floors in the White House press office, she will place the final memento into her cardboard box and exhale a sigh of relief. "Sigh." Proudly, she will think on how she outlasted far more talented and valuable people at the White House. She'll tell you exactly why that was. "If I hadn't been so pure, honest, and good, wouldn't I be a jailbird like Michael Cohen, or on my way like Flynn?" See? That fake quote we just invented for Sanders is very truthful.

Sarah Huckabee Sanders has given these 500 years of her life to this nation, and the least we can do is remember her as honest, courageously truthful, and a bold non-liar. She demands her legacy be remembered as TRUTH.


From The Inquisitr:

Sarah Huckabee Sanders, the White House Press Secretary criticized for bending the truth and pushing stances from Donald Trump later revealed to be untrue, said she hopes that she leaves a legacy for being "transparent and honest."

It's nice that she still has hope and shit, Sanders, but even her hope is dishonest as fuck.

Sanders is expected to be leaving her post at the end of the year, and this week opened up about what legacy she hopes to leave. In an interview with Politico, Sanders said she hopes that her honesty and her efforts to defend the Trump administration will be remembered after she is gone

Well, I for one, will remember that time a restaurant refused to serve Sarah Huckabee Sanders, and Maxine Waters almost laughed herself to death over it. I think about that cheese plate she got for free and I shadily resent her getting one free crumb of anything. Ever. That should have been my cheese.

"To do the best job that I could do to answer questions, to be transparent and honest throughout that process," she said at the sixth annual Women Rule Summit. "And do everything I could to make America a little better that day than it was the day before."

Sarah Huckabee Sanders never once made America "a little better," much less "Great Again." Also, the way she answered questions at the podium made it feel more like she resented the existence of every single person who has ever lived on this planet and that if she were God, she would have smote every living thing in DC just to hurry it up. She was just as patient and kind as a rabid wolverine or a feral Ann Coulter, but I will give her props on the transparency thing. It was always very transparent that she was lying. And she always got caught!

And if she did tell the truth a few times here and there, it damn sure wasn't intentional. But as we clearly see, Sarah Huckabee Sanders absolutely believes every single catshit prevarication that has ever poured forth from her sarcastic lips.

Like a common "Liar For Jesus" it seems she believes lies are not sinful or wrong or even lies as long as they have a "higher purpose." You know, like covering up for the Trump administration's Chitty Chitty Bang Bang ICE Child Burgling scheme.

Donald Trump Burgling Babies Like A Boss!Screenshot: Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

At this point nobody knows who will replace Sanders if she does in fact GTFO, but does it really fucking matter? She made lying ass Spicey look honest, and the next asshole at the podium will make her look honest, until we get so meta that one will lie so hard they'll actually be telling the truth.

[ Huffington Post]

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Wonderbitch

FollowWonderbitch aka Bravenak aka Bianca DeLaRosa, loves her jobs as Social Media Manager for Wonkette more than Sarah Huckabee Sanders loves lying to America. Bianca also moonlights as a Witch (THE BAD KIND!!) and is a Freelance Goddess of All Things Ever. Be very nice her because she likes to curse people, especially mean people. You can find Bianca on Twitter @bravewriting or email her at bianca@wonkette.com

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