Sarah Huckabee Sanders: Trump Won't Tolerate Heinous Violence That Kicks Her Out Of Restaurants


It's all fun and tyrannical games when you're a president who tours the country giving hate rallies to your cult-like followers. But when one of them possibly takes your deranged words to heart and starts sending commemorative pipe bombs to your political and media enemies, it's a bad look. This is when employing shameless liars at high levels comes in handy.

White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders emerged from hiding this morning to catch up with the usual gang of idiots at "Fox & Friends" and discuss how the disturbing number of suspicious explosive items sent to prominent Democrats and members of the press is all the fault of Democrats and members of the press.

Co-host Ainsley Earhardt reminded viewers about the shooting of Republican Rep. Steve Scalise and "what happened" to Sanders and her family at a Lexington, Virginia, restaurant. I'm gonna put Earhardt's selective memory on a brief hold and clarify that "what happened" to Sanders was not at all violent or life-threatening. She was politely asked to leave the Red Hen on the same legal principle Christian bakers politely refuse to bake wedding cakes for gay couples. Although the Red Hen's moral exception to Sanders had nothing to do with her sexual orientation, gender identity, ethnicity or even her politics in general. The staff didn't want to serve Sanders because she is a professional advocate for and enabler of fascism. She's free to practice that alternative lifestyle, but she's not entitled to pan-seared scallops.

Here is where your average mammal might gently correct Earhardt that having to swing by Waffle House isn't at all the same as getting shot or relatable to the whole point of her visit today, which is what House Speaker Paul Ryan has described as an act of terrorism. She could've gotten meta and interacted with the screen like on "Mystery Science Theater 3000," literally pointing at the scroll beneath her that reads "WH Reacts to Suspicious Packages." This is what she's here to discuss, not her disappointing dining experiences.

No, instead, Sanders hopped on the pity party bus, nodding along as Earhardt called out Hillary Clinton and Maxine Waters and not-so-subtly linked constitutionally guaranteed protest to straight-up political violence. I have a sneaking suspicion that were Sanders and Earhardt alive during the 1960s, they'd also equate the Civil Rights Movement and anti-war protestors to the "political violence" that literally killed Martin Luther King and two Kennedys. Rest assured, Sanders insists, the Trump administration "won't tolerate or stand for" the type of political violence that deprives Republicans of a pleasant meal where they can civilly discuss depriving Americans of health care over appetizers.

Donald Trump calls the media the "enemy of the people" at his rallies so often it's gotten as trite and predictable as an old "Jaywalking" routine from Leno's "Tonight Show." (Yeah, we get it. Average Americans are idiots and will someday do something crazy like elect Donald Trump as president.) Despite what Sanders says, which is almost always lie-shaped, Trump's response to actual domestic terrorism has been less than overwhelming. He basically responded "Ditto!" to Vice President Mike Pence's statement condemning the attacks and later got around to issuing a mealy mouthed weak sauce special that looked like it was composed on an iPhone's Notes app. CNN president Jeff Zucker wasn't impressed. His network's New York offices had to evacuate Wednesday due to a bomb threat, and Zucker wants more from Trump than just brushing off his Charlottesville "both sides" platitudes.

"There is a total and complete lack of understanding at the White House about the seriousness of their continued attacks on the media," Zucker said. "The president, and especially the White House press secretary, should understand their words matter. Thus far, they have shown no comprehension of that."

This really bummed out Sanders, who accused Zucker of choosing to "attack and divide." Zucker should pay more attention to the empty words Trump said before he attended a campaign rally Wednesday night in Wisconsin where he, true to form, attacked and divided.

Trump basically suggested that the path to peace and harmony is total submission to him. It's common abuser rhetoric. He takes no accountability for his own words and deeds. He said people should stop comparing politicians to "historical villains," yet we all know he'll continue comparing certain Democrats to historical Native Americans. He said we should not "mob people in public places," but he'll continue raising lynch mobs at public rallies. But his words of caution to the media were especially chilling.

"The media also has a responsibility to set a civil tone and to stop the endless hostility and constant negative and oftentimes false attacks and stories. Have to do it."

Yeah, the media needs to stop running negative stories about him or who knows what might happen. FOX News has radicalized a generation of right-leaning Americans, but it's all those stories about Trump's felonious friends that's tearing the country apart. Zealous journalistic oversight of government is requirement for a free state. And only those with authoritarian impulses would seek to link impassioned protest with acts of terrorism.

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes reviews for the A.V. Club and make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."


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