Say It Ain't So, Joe. Or Just Stop Saying Anything.

Real Subtle JoeCNN just announced that Joe Wilson will be on a "special edition" of the "Situation Room" at 7PM tonight. But wait: Wilson was just on. And it's not like it was a forgettable appearance. He makes Wolf look humble and retiring, what with bragging about his Vanity Fair picture making it into the International Spy Museum and lectures maintaining a sense of humor through the use of "irony." Here's some irony, Joe: You know what Scooter Libby should have to do as penance for blowing your wife's cover? Marry you. We asked Fred Becker why the Dems have such shitty martyrs.


Dear Wonkondowntheline,

Joe Wilson this letter is for you. I know you will read it because you can’t resist anything that contains your name. You must have wicked Google news alerts. Joe, please for the love of God, stop. Please stop talking. Each day you make it clearer and clearer why your wife wanted to send you to Niger.

There must be easier ways for your wife to get you out of the house other than sending you to foreign lands or making you live off of green room canapés. I understand there are a lot of fallen leaves in Washington. Perhaps you could rake them. It gets the blood up and you could tell your banal tales of mystery and intrigue to the rake. It is perhaps the last object on this fertile spinning earth that will listen to you. 

Today, on the Situation Room you suggested that anyone who has a problem with the picture you posed for in Vanity Fair needs to “get a life.” Joe, advise thyself! You said the picture showed irony. Yes, I suppose that self-serious grin was ironic. Here’s a man playing at James Bond next to the real victim. It wasn’t Scooter Libby’s stupid clumsy leaking that did such damage to Valerie Plame, it was the vicar who allowed you to fumble your thick fingers in whatever devilish way you did to get that wedding ring around her finger.

So, to conclude Joe, please stop. There are real villains in our government. Stop making them look so good by comparison. Any more from you, and I’m going to think that Karl Rove is paying you to make his evil little band look sympathetic.

I am exhausted but I still remain 

Your humble servant,

Fred.

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