Barack Obama went to see the medical droid and whoa boy, the newspapers are Outraged! Why? He's 48 years old and still has safe cholesterol levels, healthy blood pressure and one of those "BMI" index things way under the standard American level of Obesity. Why does he hate real Americans? Also, why is he still being advised to chew Nicorette? DOES THIS MEAN HE STILL HAS A CIGARETTE SOMETIMES? And if so, why won't he resign? [New York Daily News]