School for Scandal

Abramoff (4).jpgThe adolescent careers of those involved in Abramoffukkah continue to be a source of fascination, and, today, we turn our attention to its nakesake himself. Jack Abramoff was evincing the skills and creative flair for all things fast and loose at quite a young age. At Beverly Hills High, he was renowned for his "power squat" -- surely the best euphenism for lobbying we've ever heard that doesn't involve an oral-anal connection -- and for his uniquely ironic fundraising efforts: for instance, a quarter-pounder eating contest with proceeds going to the American Cancer Society.

Even going back to his junior high days at the Hawthorne School, you see evidence of the quintessential Abramoff mien being forged:

He ran for student council president at the Hawthorne School, a Beverly Hills elementary and middle school, in 1972. Heading into a runoff election, Abramoff was disqualified for exceeding the spending limit. The principal, Herbert recalled, penalized Abramoff for holding a party, stating it amounted to a campaign expenditure that pushed him over the limit.

Unbelievable. And this morning, the indispensable Henry Seltzer reminds us that Monica Lewinsky, that prime mover of the scandals of yesteryear, also matriculated at Hawthorne and Beverly Hills High. It's like a Holy Tango of Taint, y'all, but it reminds us of a constant complaint we have with the Harry Potter universe: why don't they just tear Slytherin down?

Abramoff Reached Beyond the Limits [LA Times]


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