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Ugh, Mitt Romney is introducing Scott Brown. Shouldn't a *winner* introduce America's Newest Teabagger Star? Well, not a lot of GOP winners around, lately, so unless Scott Brown wants to introduce himself -- maybe, a naked Scott Brown could introduce the clothed Scott Brown? -- then Mittens is the best opening act available. Let's listen to your new GOP leadership!


10:30 PM -- Scott Brown is FIRED UP.

10:31 PM -- "And I bet they can hear this cheering all the way in WASHINGTON DC!" (Yeah they got the teevee in DC, too.)

10:32 PM -- Who are the Amazonian babes, are those Scott Brown's Sexy Daughters? They should have a folk duo, or a wrestling team.

10:33 PM -- Oh he is happy about this, and kisses his wife's ... sort of left-jaw area? She then looks sad. And Prince Charles is standing behind him. Death to the Revolution, Victory to the Lobsterbacks!

10:33 PM -- He's got a Boston Herald! And he's ON THE BOSTON HERALD.

10:33 PM -- Wait, his Senate seat belongs to "no political party"? Does Karl Rove know about this? Does Micheal Steele know about this???!

10:34 PM -- What ... are ... they ... chanting?

10:34 PM -- Good god these teabaggers want BLOOD.

10:35 PM -- Well that is nice to say these things about Ted Kennedy and his wife.

10:36 PM -- And he will be a "worthy successor to the late Senator Kennedy," and he certainly will be a liberal hero!

10:40 PM -- WHOA WHOA WHOA THE FUCK, Scott Brown about his daughters: "And they're both available."

10:40 PM -- Let's see, Arianna and ... the other one, whoever. One's on American Idol, the other is "pretty good on the court," and, uhh, Scott Brown thinks he now gets to move into the White House and ... wait, oh lord, is this guy actually CRAZY?

10:41 PM -- Holy fuck this guy is actually insane, isn't he?

10:43 PM -- There is a sense, here at the Wonkette office, that he maybe should've stopped speaking about five minutes ago. (Or, actually, not, as we REQUIRE this, for your Wonkette daily content.)

10:55 PM -- OH SHIT is he *still* talking?

10:56 PM -- His name is Scott Brown, and he drives a truck. Are you listening, Fred Thompson? No?

10:57 PM -- "I'm nobody's senator."

10:57 PM -- Okay, that's it, and here's Greta, so let's switch off from Fox before the THETANS get us.

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Well, lordy Jesus, that was 10 minutes of our life we're never going to get back.

A few minutes ago, all the reporters on Twitter started saying, "Um, we are getting called to the Rose Garden and we don't know why." Democrats were supposed to be meeting with Trump about Infrastructure Week, but instead, this was happening:

Hooray! There was a sign in the Rose Garden! It said how big the Mueller Investigation was! And most importantly the Mueller Investigation said NO COLLUSION, NO OBSTRUCTION, PREZNIT TRUMP GOOD, NOT A RUSSIAN.

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Alex Díaz de la Portilla on Facebook

Alex Díaz de la Portilla, former Florida Republican state senator, is in hot water over a leaked WhatsApp chat log that appears to show campaign workers chatting about destroying or disappearing absentee ballots filled out for the candidate's opponent in the nonpartisan county election, according to the Miami New Times. Díaz de la Portilla ultimately came in third in the May 2018 special election for a seat on the Miami-Dade County Commission, so even if some of his people did deep-six some ballots, it didn't apparently help him. Clearly, these pikers could have learned a lot from the experts in North Carolina about electoral fuckery.

Still, you have to appreciate just how brilliantly Díaz de la Portilla plays the role of a local pol accused of just a teensy bit of ratfucking.

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