GOP Candidate Says He Only Wanted To Stomp On Opponent's Face With 'Golf Spikes' METAPHORICALLY.

2018 State and Local Elections

Scott Wagner, the Republican candidate for Governor of Pennsylvania, posted a video to Twitter on Friday morning in which he announced his desire to step on opponent Tom Wolf's face with his golf spikes -- which could only have been a more Republican way of threatening someone if he did it while eating a cucumber sandwich.

Golf spikes, for everyone else here who is me, are spikey things that go on the bottom of your shoes to help you do golf stuff, I guess (I had to Google).

Between this and all the Proud Boys beating the shit out of people, I must say -- Republicans are great at this civility stuff! Surely, they could teach us a thing or two.

Alas, after some harsh criticism (from the Left -- the civility lovers on the Right were largely silent) Wagner decided to take down the video from his page, and has since released a video apologizing for using a "bad metaphor."

Hold on, give me a moment to clutch my pearls and respond to this as if I were a Republican pundit and he were a Democrat.

This has really gotten out of control! These Republicans don't even care that stomping on someone's face with golf spikes is illegal, and to say that you want to do such a thing to a sitting Governor is so horrifying and disrespectful! Not to mention divisive! So divisive! Is this what Wagner thinks of us? Does he really think that all of us deserve to have our faces stomped on? Is this really the country we want to live in?

And then all of you would go out and burn your golf spikes. Or something. It would all be very dramatic and we would scream about it for an entire week, and run 85,000 thinkpieces on how the Right loves violently stomping on people with golf spikes. In fact, we might even point out that later in the day, after Wagner's video, a bunch of Republican thugs did, in fact, gang up on people and kick them in the face.

That is what we would all do. Instead, we'll just shrug this one off because it's not even the most abhorrent thing said by a Republican in the last two days.


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Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse


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