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When your corporation needs to take care of some troublesome "environmental and regulatory matters" in Wisconsin, heh heh, just go see the dumb kid who never graduated college but did manage two DUI convictions, because that dumb kid isearning $81,5000 a year as one of Governor Scott Walker's top-paid people in the administration. But how did this young GOP idiot, Brian Deschane, get such a sweet job suckling on the public teat? Easy! According to the Journal Sentinel's Daniel Bice, Brian Deschane's father is "Jerry Deschane, executive vice president and longtime lobbyist for the Madison-based Wisconsin Builders Association, which bet big on Walker during last year's governor's race." Haha, now that's the kind of contribution that really pays off!


Imagine you're Jerry Deschane, a Republican lobbyist for the crooked home-construction industry. You need to smooth the way for your clients' pillage, and you would also like to get your ne'er-do-well failure of a son out of the house. He couldn't even finish college!

And how drunk was this kid, Brian Deschane, to get two DUI convictions when his dad is a Republican lobbyist who hobnobs with the likes of Scott Walker?

What was it that made Brian such an attractive candidate? Was it the lack of a resume, or was it the drunk driving? Did Walker think the environment needed a fun spoiled-brat friend who knows how to party?

"It doesn't look like he's ever had a real job," Rep. Brett Hulsey (D-Madison) said.

Hulsey noted that the recently approved law that made collective bargaining changes converts 37 top agency attorneys, communications officials and legislative liaisons from civil service positions to jobs appointed by the governor.

"This is an example of the quality of candidates you're going to get," said Hulsey

Anyway, Scott Walker is all about JOBS, especially (specifically) if you give Scott Walker's campaign a couple of sacks of money. Because Scott Walker will make that money go to work for you, if you are the person who paid the money to Scott Walker. Jerry Deschane of the Wisconsin Builders Association got Maximum Value out of the $121,652 he handed to Scott Walker: Not only does the Wisconsin Builders Association now have somebody on the payroll in charge of "environmental and regulatory matters," but that same drunken failure kid is also earning $81,500 from Wisconsin taxpayers. Score! [JS Online]

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HOLY ACHTUNG TWITTER IS FREAKING OUT! Special Counsel Robert Mueller's office (SCO) has issued a statement, almost 24 full hours after Buzzfeed's story on Donald Trump ordering Michael Cohen to lie to Congress about the failed Trump Tower Moscow deal started blowing everybody's minds. Mueller's spokesman says actually BuzzFeed got it a bit wrong. This is significant because 1) Mueller's office NEVER talks, and B) well, they're not actually saying BuzzFeed got it WRONG wrong. Just, you know, kinda wrong.

Wow, that statement is lawyered as fuck. BuzzFeed described "specific statements" wrong, and its "characterization of documents and testimony" was just an eensy bit off, and maybe if BuzzFeed moved this sofa over here it would take advantage of more natural light in the room, and honestly, BuzzFeed should trim up this one paragraph of its article, because those sentences DO NOT SPARK MARIE KONDO'S JOY.

Otherwise, it's great!

First of all, we want everybody to relax. Donald Trump is still a criminal.

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It's been a joy watching the reactions come in from TrumpWorld about the news that Donald Trump has committed YET ANOTHER CRIME, in this case suborning perjury by instructing his former lawyer thug fixer Michael Cohen to lie to Congress. How many other people did he do that with? WE DUNNO! But that's not what this post is about.

First of all, let's see what the big guy himself did. As with all presidential statements from the un-president, it happened on Twitter:

Oh wait, that's (grapes) not it. Here it is:

That's right, the president of the United States reacted to a bombshell news report exposing that he had tampered with a witness by suborning perjury by ... tampering with that witness some more in public, by threatening his father-in-law! (To be fair, Trump has been trying to intimidate the witness by encouraging the feds to investigate Cohen's father-in-law for a hot minute now. It's one of his things, like tweeting and pooping at the same time and comparing WALL to WHEEL.)

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