Guy doesn't do "sincere" so good

The saga of Sean Hannity Being A Huge Dick To A Grieving Family took an important turn Tuesday: Fox News retracted -- very quietly -- a story that claimed Seth Rich, a DNC staffer murdered last July, had very definitely been in touch with Wikileaks. Fox pulled the story about a week after it was clear that private investigator (and Fox contributor, surprise!) Rod Wheeler had pretty much pulled the central claim out of his ass -- or had it handed to him by a reporter at Fox's Washington DC affiliate. (The Wikileaks claim. Every other reporter in the media handed Wheeler his ass.) Rich's parents wrote an op-ed in the Washington Post asking rightwing media to stop exploiting their son's death for ratings. In that op-ed, Mary and Joe Rich said they'd seen no evidence their son had leaked anything to Wikileaks, and pointed out that the day before he was murdered, he was "excited about a new job he had been offered on Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign" -- not exactly the picture of a disgruntled staffer out to destroy Clinton, whom Clinton would then have to MURDERRRR. Hannity, desperate to suggest the entire intelligence community was lying when it said Russia hacked the DNC, has been flogging the Rich conspiracy story since the same day news broke that disgraced former National Security Adviser and literal foreign agent Mike Flynn, who was being paid by Turkey at the time (and Russia previously), declined plans to raid ISIS because Turkey would have been sad!

It's not Sean Hannity, it's the rest of the media that had bad news judgment that day, and every day since.

On Twitter, Hannity hyped the huge news he was going to reveal in Tuesday night's show:

On his radio show Tuesday afternoon, Hannity took a very defiant pose, because he's a crusader for the Truth:

“I am not or,” he said on the air. “I retracted nothing.”

So, what earth-shaking news did Hannity have regarding Seth Rich and Hannity's own future at Fox? We almost missed it, since most of Tuesday's show was devoted to praising Donald Trump's tough Call Terrorists Losers response to the Manchester bombing. But by golly, Hannity did have an announcement!

Yes, it turns out that Sean Hannity was deeply moved by the plea from Rich's parents, and by a direct plea from Seth Rich's brother Aaron asking Hannity to please. just. stop. Hannity is just that decent a guy, according to Sean Hannity:

I totally and completely understand how upset and how hard this is on this family, especially over the recent coverage of Seth’s death. Now, I’ve been communicating with them. I got a very heartfelt note. I also sent them a heartfelt note back. I reached out personally today to his brother, Aaron. I expressed my condolences over how hard and how difficult this has been for him and his family. As I told Aaron, my heart and soul and prayers —everything goes out to them in this very difficult time.

So Hannity announced -- hugely -- that "out of respect from the family’s wishes for now, I am not discussing this matter at this time." Isn't he a great guy? After all, he feels very upset about how "recent coverage" of Seth Rich's death has affected the Rich family. We bet whoever's been giving the story all that hurtful coverage is gonna feel sorry when Sean Hannity gets his hands on them.

Also, we wouldn't be too surprised if we also learn that Hannity's newly discovered compassion for Rich's family may have been enhanced by a good talking-to from his bosses. It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

Hannity then placed Rich's murder in its proper historical context, blathering about all the "issues" in play:

Not the least of which is the Democratic push of their Russian narrative, collusion, Trump-Russia narrative. The destroy-Trump media and Democrats, they have been pushing that tinfoil hat conspiracy with zero evidence [...]

As proof, Hannity showed video of former CIA Director John Brennan saying there was sufficient evidence to investigate further the possibility of collusion between the Trump campaign and the Russians, which means there IS no evidence, and never will be, so let's end the investigation before it's finished.

Hannity closed by bravely promising that even though he was backing off the Rich story -- for now! -- he's going to keep doing the same great job he's done all along, of providing the very best in leading questions and salacious innuendo:

I want to say this to you, my loyal audience, please do not interpret what I am saying tonight to mean anything — don’t read into this. I promise you, I am not going to stop doing my job. To the extent of my ability, I’m not going to stop trying to find the truth. That’s what we do here every single day. That effort. That’s not stopping in any way, shape, matter or form. I’m continuing the work that I promise to do every day for you and at the proper time, we shall continue and talk a lot more.

Then he went on the Twitters and promised to get to the bottom of all this, REAL SOON:

If only he could tell us everything he knows! He's just bursting to tell us all! But alas, he is too much the gentleman -- a gentleman who knows so much!

The Rich family, through a spokesperson, issued a statement thanking Hannity for shutting up at long last, with a hint that maybe he should stay that way:

Naturally enough, first thing Wednesday, Hannity was busily sharing what he really knows: George Soros, Media Matters For America, and MMFA head David Brock are conspiring to get him, and then they're coming for ALL conservatives!!!!

In conclusion, Sean Hannity told a lot of baseless lies about a murder victim to try to prove Russia never hacked the US election, then backed off (compassionately!) when it was apparent his story was collapsing, and now would like everyone to know George Soros, David Brock, and Media Matters for America are the real bad guys because they keep pointing out what a liar Sean Hannity is, the end.

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[WaPo / New York / WaPo / Sean Hannity on Twitter]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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