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Sean Spicer


Finally! There is finally a reasonable explanation for why Michael Flynn was able to be a LITERAL FUCKING FOR REAL OMG FOREIGN AGENT for a big long time, and still was deemed A-OK for Trump to name him national security adviser. It was Barack Obama's fault, THANKS OBAMA! Spicer explained this in his Thursday press conference, and it all makes sense now. You see, Team Trump didn't need to vet Flynn, because he got his latest security clearance when Obama was still president, so they just assumed everything was fine, and if it wasn't, that means Obama dropped the ball, probably because he was distracted doing "wire tapps" to Trump's down theres.

General Flynn was a career military officer who maintained a high level security clearance throughout his career in the military. His clearance was last reissued by the Obama administration in 2016, with full knowledge of his activities that occurred in 2015 ... So, the issue is he was issued a security clearance by the Obama administration in the spring of 2016. The trip and transactions that you're referring to occurred in December of 2015, from what I understand ...

Wait, what? Isn't the Defense Department inspector general investigating Flynn because it sure enough seems like he FAILED TO DISCLOSE ALL HIS FOREIGN AGENT SHIT? Oh yes, that is exactly what is happening! We thought maybe we had gone batty and were mis-remembering what we wrote about three hours ago, but it turns out that we are not crazy, Sean Spicer is fucking crazy.

Let's try this again:

My only point is that when General Flynn came into the White House, he had an active security clearance that was issued during the Obama administration, with all the information that's being discussed that occurred in 2015. [...]

I think it's important for folks to understand that when someone applies for a clearance, they get that clearance ... for five years, and that the person who has been issued it has a legal obligation to update the issuing agency any variances in what they supplied ...

And it sure sounds like Flynn failed to let his country of origin (America) know when he decided to switch sides and fight for the Russians, allegedly.

One more try? Why the fuck not! Spicer says becoming the national security adviser is kind of like getting press credentials for White House press briefings. He explains, "we trust that when you are cleared the first time ... that your background check is still clear." So basically team Trump's standards for making sure the highest national security official in the free world isn't a traitor are equivalent to deciding whether that Never-Nude from Gateway Pundit should be allowed to drool in front of Spicer's podium.

Spicer's argument makes perfect sense, both for journalists and for national security advisers, because there's no reason to believe circumstances might change. Why would they even think that? And the fact that, during the 2016 campaign, Michael Flynn kept jetting off to foreign lands and coming back with his thong full of hundred dollar bills wasn't suspicious at all. It's just something that happens to him, because he is so sexxxy.

Another journalist wanted to know, now that we know what we know, does the squatter in the White House regret hiring Flynn in the first place? Nah.

I think the president made the right decision at the right time ... and we look forward from that decision, and the decision stands.

OK.

This has been another episode of Sean Spicer Steps On Own Dick. Stay tuned for the next new episode, which will premiere next time Sean Spicer opens his mouth.

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[h/t Tommy Christopher on Twitter]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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