Seattle, Bellingham, Spokane, Washington: Prepare The Wine And Women


Sup fuckers? Mama needs to get on the open road and water, and this time, that means SEATTLE, BELLINGHAM, and SPOKANE, WASHINGTON, YOU SHALL HAVE THE PLEASURE OF US.

Seattle! We shall have SPECIAL GUESTS AT YOU including your new favorite Wonkette writer and co-Seattler Stephen Robinson, and Doktor Zoom, who has bought his own ticket from Boise, who the fuck even knows why. Plus Shy, baby, and the king of you, me. Join us at the newly renovated kids playground at your Discovery Park. Park at the visitors center and then walk over to see us with the DISH YOU BROUGHT TO SHARE (if you're able; honestly, there's always so much food, forget I said anything even, you're golden). We shall barbecue things at your face. Sat., Aug. 11, 4-7 p.m. Bring a sweater! You know how you get.

Bellingham! We will do the same thing with the barbecue and the shared dishes at Sunnyland Park! Sun., Aug. 12, 2-5 p.m. Our friend lives next to the park if you want to do pots in her garage like a common jazz musician.

Then we are going away FOREVER, or "almost one week." And we will see you again in

SPOKANE! Spokane, your parks website is worse than our subscription pages, that is how bad your parks website is, but we say Sun., Aug. 19, 2-5 p.m., at ... *throws dart at computer screen* ... Audubon Park! 3405 N Milton St.! Same deal, with the barbecuing and the dishes and the fun and the nice.

And then I will be very cured of all the Trump and we will all be ready to take this fucker on again forever and ever amen. You may send us gas money here because you are a dork who loves to send us gas money the end.

Also this, you, OPEN THREAD.

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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Well, goddamn it, a wonderful person we'd never heard of until last night is dead. Lyra McKee was 29, an investigative journalist who specialized in looking at the legacy of "the Troubles" in Northern Ireland. She was murdered by someone shooting at police during rioting in Derry, or perhaps Londonderry, depending on who you want to piss off by using either name for the city. The rioting broke out after police "started carrying out searches in the area because of concerns that militant republicans were storing firearms and explosives" in advance of attacks planned to mark the anniversary of the 1916 Easter Rising. Police are blaming the violence and McKee's death on the "New Irish Republican Army," a radical republican group formed a few years ago from several smaller groups. Despite the name, the group has no ties to the old Provisional Irish Republican Army, which renounced violence and disarmed in 2005 following the 1998 Good Friday Agreement, which was supposed to have brought peace to Northern Ireland, and kind of did, at least much of the time.

McKee is being remembered by colleagues and readers as a promising journalist who was expected to go far. A year ago, McKee signed a two-book deal with Faber & Faber; the first of the books, The Lost Boys, an investigation of eight young men who disappeared in Belfast during the Troubles in the '60s and '70s, will be published next year. A 2016 Forbes profile said "McKee's passion is to dig into topics that others don't care about." For instance, CNN reports, McKee spent five years investigating a story about the only rape crisis center in Northern Ireland and its long struggle to regain funding after the government eliminated it.

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