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Jesus probably wants you to buy more guns now


Welcome to your Latest Mass Shooting, America! At 10:40 AM local time, an as-yet unidentified gunman opened fire at Umpqua Community College in Roseburg, Oregon, leaving at least 7-10 10 people dead and approximately 7 wounded (see updates at end of post). The shooting reportedly began in or near the campus science building, Snyder Hall. Early reports -- not yet confirmed -- are that the shooter has been either "neutralized" or "apprehended." A livestream of Portland TV station KATU is available here; early information is of course uncertain and chaotic, and we have to say that KATU's staff is being very careful to clarify what's confirmed and what's not. KATU reports that the campus is being evacuated, with students being transported by bus to the Douglas County fairgrounds.

Needless to say, it is far too soon to talk about guns, because the easy availability of firearms is not a problem in America. As of the end of August, when two reporters in Virginia were murdered by a former co-worker, the nation had experienced roughly one mass shooting per day, so let's add 30 to the total then (247) say that this was something like the 275th mass shooting of 2015. We'll update that as soon as we can. Also, get ready for the inevitable Truthers to crawl out from under the rocks, because nothing bad ever happens, and it's just a ploy to take our guns away.

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But, again, it's far too soon to talk about guns, except of course to demand that more people carry them at all times, legalize concealed carry on campuses, and be ready to shoot anyone at any time. Take a moment, if you must, to keep the people of Roseburg and Douglas County in your thoughts today, and then please go buy more guns. It's the American thing to do.

Update 3:55 EDT: Thank goodness, we're already getting some leadership on this tragedy. The Washington Post's Philip Bump tweets:

"Crime... Boy, I don't know."

UPDATE 4:20 EDT: CBS reports that Oregon's attorney general now says 13 people have died. The Oregonian is reporting that the shooter is dead. Oregon Gov. Kate Brown is expected to speak to reporters shortly.

UPDATE 5:00 EDT: Gov. Brown just completed a very brief press conference in which she said the shooter, now deceased, was a 20-year-old male.

UPDATE 8:05 EDT: The Douglas County Sheriff's office is now reporting 10 fatalities and 7 injuries in the shooting, numbers lower than previously reported by the state attorney general.

You can watch President Obama's statement on the shooting here.

[KATU.com / KATU livestream]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Presidential contender Kamala Harris held her first official campaign event in South Carolina, a key state in the upcoming Democratic primaries. Friday night, she spoke to a crowd of roughly 1,000 at a town hall at Royal Missionary Baptist Church in North Charleston. She reaffirmed her support for sensible gun safety laws, including universal background checks and closing the "Charleston loophole." She fielded questions from voters about how she'd address mass incarceration. Actual issues were discussed, but then she went and spoiled it all by doing something stupid like eating in public.

Harris filled her tummy with Lowcountry goodness at Rodney Scott's BBQ. Later her press secretary, Ian Sams, tweeted a photo of the senator adding a hefty dollop of Texas Pete to her collard greens because she's civilized. Some chose to interpret this as "pandering." Because some are literally killing us with this.

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Last week, we started getting excerpts from fired acting FBI director Andrew McCabe's new book The Threat: How The FBI Protects America In The Age Of Terror And Trump, and we are both happy and horrified to report that his book tour continues! One of the tidbits we learned in the Washington Post review was that we have YET ANOTHER example of a time Donald Trump has shown us that he trusts Vladimir Putin more than he trusts his own intelligence community, and is probably compromised by the Russian president. Here's how the Post put it:

During an Oval Office briefing in July 2017, Trump refused to believe U.S. intelligence reports that North Korea had test-fired an intercontinental ballistic missile — a test that Kim Jong Un had called a Fourth of July "gift" to "the arrogant Americans."

Trump dismissed the missile launch as a "hoax," McCabe writes. "He thought that North Korea did not have the capability to launch such missiles. He said he knew this because Vladimir Putin had told him so."

Guys, it is SO MUCH WORSE when McCabe tells the story on "60 Minutes," because his account captures the fucking babyshits temper tantrum nature of Trump's reaction to his intel people.

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