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"AND HE IS A MORON."


Good morning, time for PALACE INTRIGUE about the White House, and also OFFICE BUILDING INTRIGUE, about the State Department! The scoop comes from NBC News, and it is that Secretary Of State Rex Tillerson, the man from Exxon, may not have been awake for much of his tenure in the Trump administration, but he's been awake long enough to notice that President Donald Trump is a YOOOOOGE FUCKING MORON. Indeed, he almost quit his job in fury over Trump being such a moron, and it was Vice President Mike Pence who had to sit him down, sing him a lullaby and tell him to stop saying things that are just obviously true.

Haha just kidding, Pence is one of the few people in Washington stupid enough that he actually thinks Trump is smart. Anyway, this all went down just after Trump visited the Boy Scouts and told them a nice wholesome story about his rich friend who throws elegant fuck orgies on big yachts:

Just days earlier, Tillerson had openly disparaged the president, referring to him as a “moron,” after a July 20 meeting at the Pentagon with members of Trump’s national security team and Cabinet officials, according to three officials familiar with the incident.

And then after Trump did the Boy Scouts thing, Eagle Scout and former Boy Scouts president Tillerson, who was on vacation in Texas at the time, reportedly threatened to "SEACREST OUT!" of his State Department job in a hissy. Fortunately (???) Pence talked him off the ledge and told him not to say factually correct yet problematic cusses about the president in public. Defense Secretary James Mattis and General John Kelly, who was in the process of moving his colored pencils and Trapper Keepers OUT of his office at Homeland and INTO the West Wing at the time, reportedly also helped.

The White House and Tillerson's spokesperson say all of this is fake news, but MSNBC's Stephanie Ruhle reported Wednesday morning that "I KNOW IT'S TRUE!" and added that SHE heard Tillerson called Trump an "EFFING MORON," by which she means "FUCKING MORON," but you can't say that on TV.

There were many rumors this summer that Tillerson was going to get in his bed, stick his big secretary of State butt in the air and refuse to ever go back to Washington DC because YOU CAN'T MAKE HIM. Around that time, State Department spokesperson and former Fox News idiot Heather Nauert had this hilarious and memorable reaction when a mean reporter wouldn't stop asking where Tillerson was:

Reporter: Can you say why we’re not being told where he is?

Nauert: Well, he does have the ... he does have the ability to go away for a few days on his own. Just takin’ a little time off. He’s had a lot of work, he just came back from that, uh, mega-trip overseas. As you all well know, many of you were there for the G20. And his other travel as well. So he’s entitled to take a few days himself.

AND NOW THE TRUTH COMES OUT.

Has it gotten any better since then? HAHAHAHAHA no. Trump and Tillerson were fighting this summer when Trump was treating his Afghanistan war policy like a restaurant renovation. NBC reports they were on the outs in August because Tillerson was unwilling to defend Trump's "I LOVE THE NAZIS!" response to Charlottesville. And of course, Trump and Tillerson had a very public fight last week about North Korea policy, because Tillerson, the secretary of State, is apparently very naive for wanting to try diplomacy with North Korea, whereas Trump is fully aware that "being nice to Rocket Man hasn't worked in 25 years," apparently all the way back to when Kim Jong-Un was ten years old.

Also too, Jared Kushner apparently hates Tillerson, and how is Jared going to use his commercial real estate skills to bring peace to the Middle East if he can't get along with State?

Anyway, this is all hilarious. Let's think about ALL the people who have been quit-fired from the Trump administration since summer (July alone was the month of Priebus, Spicer, Scaramucci AND OTHERS), and then remember that Trump ALSO fought with Attorney General Jeff Sessions all summer, and then add this as the cherry on top of the sundae of all Trump's failures, that things are so bad between Tillerson and Trump that Tillerson is staying up past his bedtime (2:00 PM allegedly) to SAY CUSSES about what a dildo-wit Trump is.

Is America great again yet? Are we winning so much that we're officially sick of winning? LOLOLOL no, we are so fucked.

We'll let you know when Tillerson resigns!

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[NBC]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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Let the quitfiring begin! Donald Trump's own internal polls are shit, so obviously it's time to fire the pollsters. Last week, the New York Times reported that Trump is freaking out and using his ancient, unsecured cellphone to make late night booty calls to his old pals for a little rub and tug to his ego. Russia, if you're listening ... and we know you are.

The Ego in Chief is flipping his shit because his own pollster Tony Fabrizio -- of Paul Manafort kickback and internal polling shared with Russians fame -- showed Trump trailing Biden badly this March in 11 swing states, with close races in six others. Trump's campaign manager Brad "Pube Beard" Parscale has been bragging about expanding his campaign into New Mexico, New Hampshire, and Nevada, at the same time his internal polls show them losing Pennsylvania by 16, Wisconsin by 11, Minnesota by 14, Michigan by 13, North Carolina by 8, Virginia by 17, and Ohio by 1. Fabrizio even showed him losing Georgia by 6!

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