George Will takes a break from ruining baseball with learned analyses of the infield fly rule and asks the sort of question that led Charlton Heston to discover a senses-shattering secret in Planet of the Apes:

As New York's other senator from 1981 to 1999, D'Amato was the un-Moynihan, reveling in the title of Senator Pothole, a tribute, of sorts, to his unapologetic parochialism. So what is Rick Santorum, the third-ranking member of the Republican's Senate leadership and one of the nation's most prominent social conservatives, doing telling The New York Times that he wants to be like D'Amato, eschewing "frilly stuff" and practicing "meat and potatoes" politics?

Hmm...maybe it's because Santorum, quite possibly the only senator brave enough to take an on-the-record stand against "man on dog" sex, is getting his clock cleaned so far by Democratic challenger (and gubernatorial offspring) Bob Casey Jr. And maybe Santorum is getting fed up with being a synonym for a frothy byproduct of an act that dare not speak its name (except in Santorum speeches). Or maybe it's just because, dammit, someone has to crack down on the Keystone State's infamous "puppy mills."

Who the hell knows the heart of Santorum? This much is for sure: He can only pick up much-needed votes if he dusts off Sen. Al's celebrated Judge Lance Ito shtick.--Nick Gillespie