Senate Approves Sandy Relief, Senate Still Littered With Bastards

Senate Approves Sandy Relief, Senate Still Littered With Bastards

The United States Senate voted last night toapprove $60 billion in relief for communities affected by Hurricane Sandy — money that was evidently counted by hand, because Hurricane Sandy was three stinking months ago.

The vote passed with 62 votes, which is nice because the money can finally go out, but we cannot forget that this means 38 members did not vote for it, and that is where the juicy business is! They are all Republicans, obviously, and presumably voted against it because we have a HUGE SPENDING CRISIS, and whenever there is a chance to get credit for voting against spending, they will take it.

They probably vote against specialized federal spending like this every time it comes up, right? Not just when they can cast a safe, meaningless 'no' vote and it doesn't affect them? Prepare to be startled, Internet Folk: Many of the senators who voted against Sandy relief love government relief, so long as it is not going to atheist New York Jew abortionists.

Let's see, who to start with... how about Sen. Roy Blunt, of Missouri? You know where Missouri is — north of Arkansas, east of Kansas, got hit with that crazy tornado in 2011, out in Joplin? Roy Blunt must have haaated the government coming in for that one, eh, local TV station?

Sen. Roy Blunt is asking that FEMA bear 100% of the rebuilding costs, as it did in New Orleans after Katrina.

Speaking of Arkansas, let's look at Sen. John Boozman, who was in the House back in 2007, when a curious bill came up for a vote, to send federal aid to the state to fix deteriorating sewer systems. Why yes, he did vote for that! Arkansas can't muster up enough money to shovel its own shit, and Boozman is cool with a sewer bailout. But when tens of thousands of people in New York and New Jersey can't get back into their homes for three months, well, that is simply too extravagant. If Arkansans can get by with 1 out of every 4 of their bridges being "structurally deficient or functionally obsolete," then New Yorkers can get by with some soggy socks.

How about Senator (and Climate Genius) Jim Inhofe, of Exxon-Mobil Oklahoma? He voted against it, but he votes against a lot of stuff. He's too consistently contrarian to be hypocritical here, right? Let's rewind to a February 2009 press release to find out:

Senator Inhofe on Thursday, in a YouTube video release, expressed sympathy to the victims of Tuesday’s tornados in Oklahoma and promised to work for federal assistance for the devastated areas across the state.

Ah. Well, cross him off the list of people who are potentially not complete and utter assholes about this relief thing.

Should we keep going? There doesn't seem to be much point in continuing, it's pretty— aw, what the hell. One more. How about Friend Of The Program Chuck Grassley? Always good for a laugh, sometimes good for some teeth-grinding bullshittery. November 2011:

City Hall has an ally in Sen. Chuck Grassley as it works to convince the Federal Emergency Management Agency to restore about $66 million in disaster funds...

“Three years later, the city of Cedar Rapids is still recovering from the floods, and FEMA’s change of position midstream is resulting in delays and possible elimination of millions of dollars, (which) is threatening the city’s finances,” the senator’s letter says.

Yes, how could big, bad FEMA just up and take away Iowa's disaster relief three years after the flood. Good thing Ol' AssumeDeerDead is there keeping an eye out! If only he and his bean-counting chums were as friendly when their constituents weren't the ones struggling.

Check out Wonkette on Facebook and Twitter, and, if you are interested in disasters of a different kind, Rich Abdill is on Twitter too.


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