Senate Grownups Poop On House Intel Committee. Wonkagenda For Thurs., March 30, 2017
Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.
- Republicans are starting to worry they might actually have to talk to Democrats in order to pass a budget that would avert a government shutdown, even though it might make Trump tweet mean things about government.
- You probably haven't noticed it, but the U.S. is dramatically increasing its military presence in several Middle Eastern countries. There's no jokes here, you need to be aware.
- The Senate Intelligence Committee will hold its first hearing on Russia today, and it's got a list of 20 different witnesses it plans to haul in front of its panel.
- A federal judge in Hawaii has decided to slap an injunction on Trump's revamped
Muslim bantravel restrictions on minorities from Muslim majority countries.
- The House is going to try and take another stab at TrumpCare/RyanCare, but they're not talking about what will be in it (again) since the House Freedom crazies have finished their temper tantrum.
- One of the sources in THE DOSSIER is a bizarre power-hungry douchebag (surprise!) but what's not clear is whether Sergei Millian is actually part of Trump's inner circle, or just some Russo-Trumpkin fanboy who's "full of shit."
- The Department of Energy has banned the use of "climate change," "emissions reduction," and "Paris Agreement" in its communications, but it's denying the censorship of government employees by pointing to words like "jobs," "infrastructure" and "clean coal," because this is America, and we have this bald eagle trained to play sweet solos on cheeseburger guitars!
- We're not quite sure if Mike Huckabee was trying to make another shitty dad joke when he asked how leaking information to reporters isn't treason, but we do know that colluding with a foreign government to undermine the United States IS treason.
- Interior Secretary, Navy Seal, and crooked P.O.S. Ryan Zinke thinks "the border is complicated," and isn't sure how much of a physical barrier the Tortilla Curtain will have.
- "Sean Spicer is doing a phenomenal job as press secretary," is what you would say if you, like Sean Spicer, didn't know the meaning of the word "phenomenal."
- Kellyanne Conway got some political consultants award by a group she's not a member of, and all the other self-respecting political consultants are PPIISSEEDD.
- Ivanka Trump will become an unpaid federal employee who works in the White House as an advisor to the president and Jared Kushner, but unlike other federal employees, Ivanka won't have to worry about a windowless office, layoffs, or spending decades earning a modest G.S. rating.
- Don't call Virginia gubernatorial candidate Corey Stewart a racist just because he wraps himself in a Confederate flag at every possible opportunity, he's just a history buff with a fondness for a time when human slavery was legal.
- HEY YA'LL, North Carolina has been re-legislatin' potty laws, and they think they've come to an agreement that will repeal HB2 and allow people to do their business wherever they want, but it sure as shit doesn't smell like roses.
- And here's your late night wrap-up! Colbert talked about the things Devin Nunes is never going to give up; Trevor Noah wondered why those coal jobs went to the store and never came home; Seth Meyers talked about Putin's poll numbers, Trump's phone, and JEB! and Samantha Bee checked in with all that winning Trump promised, 'splainered racist, sexist, rapey, AND gerrymandering Georgia politician Johnnie Caldwell.
- And here's your morning Nice Time! Orphaned Alaskan sea otter pup, Rialto!
Hey! Yr Wonkette is supported by readers like you, so donate/subscribe and we'll keep giving you all hard-hitting and independent 'splainerings, dick jokes, and mommy blogging you already love!