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Senate Old Farts McCain And Schumer Hold Mad Comedy Duel

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Uh-oh, why is John McCain insulting 9/11? Don't tell us our favorite celebrity political couple John McCain and 9/11 have finally broken up! (Calm down, Lindsey Graham, that is not actually what happened.) No, John McCainjokingly insulted Long Island during a Senate debate by saying that it is "regrettably" part of America, and Chuck Schumer freaked out but could not think of one single nice thing about Long Island to say in its defense on Twitter except that there were people heroically inhabiting Long Island when 9/11 happened. This more or less proves the Walnuts point correct (hooray, he finally got one right after 19 million years in the Senate!), but no way did the fun stop there.


First Walnuts went back to the Senate floor and fished in his senile old person brain for a nice old-timey thing to say in apology to Long Island and turned up the inexplicable choice of calling it "wonderful." But mostly this was setup for A LITTLE BIT OF REVENGE, via NY Daily News:

“I'm sorry there's at least one of my colleagues that can't take a joke, and so I apologize if I offended him and hope that someday he will have a sense of humor,” McCain said.

So WAR, obviously, and Schumer went straight back to Twitter:

We did laugh at that one, for being true. Oh these two, such a comedy duo! Once again Lindsey Graham feels jealous and abandoned. And, oh yeah, look out, Al Franken! [NY Daily News]

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It's a new week in America, and as usual everything is going to hell, because that's what happens when you allow 70,000 "economic anxiety" voters in the Rust Belt, Vladimir Putin, and James Comey to decide an election. We will have many stories about Donald Trump's brutal crackdown on Hispanic toddlers today, but in this post, we must revisit that greatest of Americans, Devin Fucking Nunes, congressman from California, possible literal actual Russian agent and (alleged) cow romancer from all the most romantic novels about cow romance. As the French say, ooh la la FUCKING DEVIN.

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