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Senate Old Farts McCain And Schumer Hold Mad Comedy Duel

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Uh-oh, why is John McCain insulting 9/11? Don't tell us our favorite celebrity political couple John McCain and 9/11 have finally broken up! (Calm down, Lindsey Graham, that is not actually what happened.) No, John McCainjokingly insulted Long Island during a Senate debate by saying that it is "regrettably" part of America, and Chuck Schumer freaked out but could not think of one single nice thing about Long Island to say in its defense on Twitter except that there were people heroically inhabiting Long Island when 9/11 happened. This more or less proves the Walnuts point correct (hooray, he finally got one right after 19 million years in the Senate!), but no way did the fun stop there.


First Walnuts went back to the Senate floor and fished in his senile old person brain for a nice old-timey thing to say in apology to Long Island and turned up the inexplicable choice of calling it "wonderful." But mostly this was setup for A LITTLE BIT OF REVENGE, via NY Daily News:

“I'm sorry there's at least one of my colleagues that can't take a joke, and so I apologize if I offended him and hope that someday he will have a sense of humor,” McCain said.

So WAR, obviously, and Schumer went straight back to Twitter:

We did laugh at that one, for being true. Oh these two, such a comedy duo! Once again Lindsey Graham feels jealous and abandoned. And, oh yeah, look out, Al Franken! [NY Daily News]

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The Dumb Song Of J. Dinesh Prufrock

A quick Dear Shitferbrains for you smart kids today, in response to our recent piece on Dinesh D'Souza's continued insistence that historian Kevin M. Kruse please bitchslap him with facts again and again. It turns out we picked the wrong historian to lionize, according to "Hadding Scott," who dropped by to let us know we had foolishly referred to a mere Princeton professor instead of to the most comprehensive take-down-er of D'Souza's lies, "Hadding Scott" himself.

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Among the primary results from Tuesday that we didn't report: Chris Murphy, US Senator from Connecticut, managed to hold on to the Democratic nomination for a second term. Actually, if you want to get all technical about it, he didn't win the nom Tuesday -- he'd already been nominated at the state party convention in May, and the Dem primary was cancelled since Murphy was the only one to file. Murphy's also heavily favored to win reelection this fall. The biggest question for Murphy is whether he's hoping to seek some other office in a couple years. (As if any prominent Democratic senator hasn't already mentally compared their inaugural crowd size to Trump's.)

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