Senate Republicans Getting Down To Important Senate Business Of Whining About Their Office Space


Hey, US Senate! Anything important going on in the country, that you might want to put your grindstone-noses and beautiful minds to, for the people what you represent? Oh, you are very very busy touring each other's offices, to see if you want to claim seniority and steal those offices like they are a game of Dirty Santa? And then you want to spend a whole bunch of time complaining if Dean Heller (R - The Tropicana) won't show you his because he is bogarting a suite with an unusually large space? Well, it is good to know you are doing the people's business and not acting like the pigs in Orwell's classic"Animal Barn."

Staffers for Sen. Dean Heller have been bullying other senators’ aides to protect the Nevada Republican’s space in the Russell Senate Office Building, CQ Roll Call has learned.

As part of the biennial Senate office lottery, junior members are obligated to show their office suites to more senior members, who then have 24 hours to decide whether to claim that space as their own. Heller’s office suite — which he inherited after the scandal-fueled resignation of Sen. John Ensign, R-Nev. — may be particularly attractive to other senators because its floor plan includes a larger-than-average member office.

Though special courtesies are usually extended to aides and members visiting offices, Heller staffers repeatedly tried to keep them from seeing the spacious member office, sources reported, saying meetings were ongoing and could not be interrupted.

Then Heller's staff made a joke about buying off Saxby Chambliss to keep their large office, and then they made some other joke about Georgia Rep. and Witchfinder General Paul Broun, which, oddly, had nothing to do with him being a fucking idiot? Well, whatever, Saxby Chambliss was Not Amused.

Still, Chambliss was so troubled by the incident that he personally spoke to Heller about it.

Heller’s office said they have been flexible in showing the rest of the suite, but that because of the senator’s schedule, his personal office has been difficult to show. One other office confirmed having difficulty in seeing the Heller space and bizarre behavior by his staffers. But a spokesperson for Sen. Michael Bennet, D-Colo., who recently toured the office space, said there were “no problems whatsoever” and that it was a positive experience.

Chambliss’ office declined to comment for this story. A Rules panel spokesman also declined to comment on the allegations of bullying.

Jesus Christ you people, shut the fuck up.


Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc