GOP-ers in the Senate are just apoplectic, y'all. Turns out Donald Trump is unstable, dumb as a fucking rock, and nuttier than chipmunk shit, and now they have to do the patriotic thing and remove him from office try with all their might to keep Trump from doing the absolute worst damage he can possibly do, but it's OK if he does some damage, because Mitch McConnell has more judgeships to steal from the will of the American people.

It's just ... why does Trump keep doing such crazy stuff? Hasn't Susan Collins sent enough mildly disapproving glances toward the White House before voting to do whatever Trump wanted in the first place? How is this message not getting through?

Politico lists out some of Trump's WILD AND CRAZY TOTALLY UNPREDICTABLE BAD BEHAVIOR, with accompanying GOP senators tut-tutting vaguely about how Trump is mildly displeasing them. It is a regular display of testicular fortitude.

For instance, Trump has been suggesting maybe Ken Cuccinelli would be a good secretary of Homeland Security. That's right, the Cooch, AKA Captain NoButtSex McNo'Bortions, the guy who kept trying and failing to be governor of Virginia, who is simply too crazy for the very serious Republican Party. Or maybe Trump might like Kris Kobach, AKA the racist KKKen doll from KKKansas, for the job! (It's also been suggested that maybe one of those guys could be Trump's new immigration "czar.")

Those guys are TOO NUTS, and McConnell is trying to head Trump off at the pass before he nominates one of them -- or somebody like Herman Cain, whose Fed appointment is suddenly looking very shaky now that FOUR Senate Republicans have signaled their opposition -- to a very important position, which would force the Senate to rebuke Trump by threatening to not confirm them, and then Susan Collins voting for them anyway because they assured her they wouldn't ban abortion:

In addition to confronting Trump on his purge at the Department of Homeland Security and his threat to deploy auto tariffs and keep existing levies, GOP senators hope they can persuade the president to avoid nominating Cuccinelli or Kris Kobach, another immigration hard-liner, to lead DHS. They also want Trump to drop plans to nominate Herman Cain to the Federal Reserve and are considering whether to challenge Stephen Moore's nomination to the Fed.

"We're trying to do everything we can to send the message before they send these people up here," said a Republican senator ...

Another GOP senator, Pat Roberts of Kansas, put it more succinctly, regarding his Kansas buddy Kobach, with the hair gel and the white hoods that are probably at the cleaners, allegedly:

"Don't go there," he hissed to a Kansas City Star reporter on his way into a Senate vote. "We can't confirm him."

"I never said that to you," Roberts added hastily.

That's not how "off the record" works, sir!

As Politico reports, all these "nightmares" are hitting Senate Republicans at the same time. There's Trump's "trade nightmare" and his healthcare nightmare, where Trump declared for the million-tieth time the GOP was going to create a big and beautiful healthcare plan, but then McConnell had to politely tell Trump to fuck off, since the GOP Senate is decidely not into the idea of trying and failing to repeal Obamacare and replace it with jackshit again. Especially not when McConnell is trying to hold on to his Senate majority in 2020, and also too he is up for re-election!

Look, it is more fightin' words from GOP senators:

"We've been down this road so many times, it's hard for me to measure," said Senate Majority Whip John Thune (R-S.D.) when asked about the simultaneous intraparty struggles. "It just happened to be issues that came to the surface at the same time."

"This moment is a little more stacked than probably most other moments," said Sen. Kevin Cramer (R-N.D.), who met with Trump about his Space Force on Tuesday and sought to downplay the feuds. "The president is very good at trial balloons and pulling back."

Chuck Grassley is so mad at Trump he's pulling his corn cob out of its holster (his butt) and saying mildly snarky words!

Asked about steel and aluminum tariffs he wants removed before backing Trump's new trade deal with Mexico and Canada, Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa) responded: "I'll spend five minutes with you if the president reads what you say."

Grassley's concerns aren't isolated to the president's protectionist strategy. He's also pleading with the White House to keep his former staffer on as head of U.S. Citizenship and Immigrations Services. Oh, and he had to rebut the president's ruminations on wind turbines causing cancer just last week.

Golly gee! These people deserve literally everything they are experiencing right now! And they deserve to be booted out of office and public life forever in 2020!

Anyway, Politico says things have gotten worse since Mick Mulvaney became "acting" chief of staff, because everybody hates Mick Mulvaney and Mick Mulvaney is a piece of shit, etc. That idea of the GOP pulling its thumbs out of its ass and actually creating a replacement for Obamacare before the 2020 election? That was Mulvaney, apparently.

GOP senators are mad about Trump's red wedding at the Department of Homeland Security, Rand Paul is mad about something or other, and fresh-faced dipshit Trump snuggler Senator Josh Hawley of Missouri is just wondering why they can't all get along with Trump and his constant fuckery and stupidly bad unqualified appointees:

"It's his job to pick people who share his vision. He's certainly entitled to do that. And I hope that the Senate will give due consideration to whoever he decides to send up," freshman Sen. Josh Hawley (R-Mo.) said.


Glad Herman Cain is probably going down, we guess. We're sure Mitch McConnell has everything under control.

You betcha.

And what time is it? It's OPEN THREAD!


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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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