The Washington Post reports that there is a thing Ron Johnson, the Senate's Dumbest Republican, does not like to say in public about the January 6th attacks, we guess because he's worried it'll make him look too dumb. No, it's not the thing about how Ron Johnson wasn't scared that day because all the terrorists were white, but he woulda been scared if they had been "Black Lives Matter," which is a Republican placeholder phrase that simply means "Black" these days. He said that out loud.

It wasn't the thing about how the terrorists were actually antifa. He said that out loud, into the Senate record.

This is a different thing. Unfortunately he got caught on tape and now we all know how dumb he is, again.


A Republican senator suggested in a private conversation Saturday, without evidence, that the FBI knew more about the planning before the Jan. 6 Capitol riot than it has revealed so far, according to a video obtained by The Washington Post.

The comments from Sen. Ron Johnson (R-Wis.), made after a political event at a Wauwatosa, Wis., hotel, reflect the spread of an unfounded claim that has traveled from far-right commentators to Tucker Carlson's Fox News show to the highest levels of the GOP.

"I don't say this publicly, but are you watching what's happening in Michigan?" Johnson said while discussing the Capitol attack with some of the event's attendees. ". . . So you think the FBI had fully infiltrated the militias in Michigan, but they don't know squat about what was happening on January 6th or what was happening with these groups? I'd say there is way more to the story."

Now you may even agree with what Ron Johnson said there, particularly because everybody knew what was happening with those groups. But you would be wrong, because Ron Johnson is dumber than that.

Because Ron Johnson saw a comment from PatriotMommy777777EmojiWarCrimeTrumpIsTheRealJesusWWG1WGA on a QAnon bulletin board what said Tucker Carlson said on TV that the FBI did it. (You know, or however this "information" entered Ron Johnson's brain.) And Tucker has been Just Asking Questions about that. Indeed, in June, Tucker said these words, based on his fundamental confusion (or just his lies) about what "unindicted co-conspirator" means in a federal indictment:

"Strangely, some of the key people who participated on Jan. 6 have not been charged. Look at the document. The government calls those people unindicted co-conspirators. What does that mean? Well, it means that in potentially every single case, they were FBI operatives."

Potentially every bad guy at the Capitol was an FBI bad guy! Hate it when the FBI peer pressures innocent and peaceful Trump supporters into attacking the Capitol.

All this seems plausible to Ron Johnson, despite the complete lack of evidence. After all, the FBI got into those militias that tried to kidnap Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer! (And the defendants say they WUZ FRAMED!) Therefore obviously the FBI also did January 6, it is just obvious to Ron Johnson, but he doesn't like to say that out loud, maybe because he's worried the FBI is monitoring him to make sure he hasn't figured out THE PLAN.

Also Ron Johnson isn't a big fan of the FBI, because it's always personally calling him an idiot, by repeatedly warning him that Russian spies are having a pretty easy time using him as a tool in their disinformation campaigns. Why wouldn't they also be doing false flag attacks on the US Capitol just to make it look like Ron Johnson supports terrorist insurrections?

Ron Johnson was full of more stupid mouth sounds:

In the recording captured Saturday, Johnson explained his view that "by and large those folks were peaceful protesters" and that the news media and Democrats are "painting 75 million Americans who voted for Trump as attached with domestic terrorists."

"I'm just pushing back on that narrative," he said, adding that he was "not happy with those guys that stood on the Capitol and created the acts of violence. . . . I've said that repeatedly and strongly."

No, dear sweet senator, we are not saying 74 million (not 75 million) Americans deluded enough to vote for Donald Trump are attached to the terrorists. That's you, and also Tucker Carlson, both of whom seem hellbent on telling regular lazyass Cracker Barrel customers who voted for Trump because they don't like Black people that they are the same as the terrorists. The Trump terrorist networks are the ones that actually attacked the Capitol, as well as whoever gives them aid and comfort. We don't really know what that Venn diagram looks like, but surely it isn't one concentric circle of all 74 million (not 75 million) Trump voters. At least we certainly hope not!

Now that Johnson's SECRET DUMB THOUGHTS about the FBI are public, though, his office is saying yeah definitely, they are just asking questions about the dumb thing that leaked out of the dumb senator's remarkably dumb face slit:

Asked whether Johnson believes the FBI played a role in encouraging the attack or sat by while it was planned and executed, Johnson spokeswoman Alexa Henning pointed to the Senate report's findings indicating that the Justice Department, of which the FBI is part, had failed to create an "integrated security plan" and said the senator was simply asking key questions in his comments over the weekend.

"The revelation of the depth of the FBI's involvement in the Governor Whitmer plot raises questions as to whether it had infiltrated Jan. 6 agitator groups as well," Henning said in a statement. "The senator continues to call on the FBI and DOJ to be transparent. To date, they have not been."

Yep yep yep.

In summary and in conclusion, God bless Bridget Kurt from Atlanta, who was staying at the Radisson in Wauwatosa and decided to film Ron Johnson making poop sounds with his face. She's a Republican who sounds just appalled by what people like Ron Johnson are doing to their party, and you should read the whole Washington Post article to see what she thinks about Captain Dipshit up here. She's a hospice worker. She was trying to get him to encourage people to get vaccinated. He wouldn't. She got up in his face. We like her. Ron Johnson is a moron. The end.

[Washington Post / ibid.]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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