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But Mitch McConnell is an honorable man...


Welp, looks like Senate Democrats have folded and agreed to reopen the government in exchange for a promise that after the government reopens, Mitch McConnell will definitely for sure really allow the Senate to vote on a bill to grant permanent immigration status to those covered by DACA. The Senate voted 81 to 18 to fund the government through February 8, apparently selling out the Dreamers for ... well, CHIP. They got CHIP, which is a good thing that both parties used to agree was a good thing. You'll forgive us though if we don't take McConnell's word on a vote on DACA -- especially because, just before the voting got underway, Mitch McConnell was still referring to DACA recipients as "illegal immigrants." What the hell are you people thinking, trusting Mitch McConnell and Donald Trump? (To to be clear, Trump didn't even promise the wet fart McConnell did.)

Needless to say, The Whole Damn Internet is skeptical of this supposed step toward a moderate, bipartisan solution:

California Democrat Kamala Harris was more of a HELL NO than just a NO:

Still, there were a few people, like ShareBlue's Eric Boehlert, arguing that with CHIP reauthorized for six years, finally, and another funding bill to pass in three weeks, Republicans won't be able to pull the "sick kids or illegal immigrants" trick a second time, and if no progress is made on DACA, Dems will have the chance to force a second shutdown where DACA would be the only issue. We aren't sure they have the ovaries to actually do that. Do they?

Washington Monthly's John Stoehr would like us to stop panicking too, please:

Let's hope the realpolitik guys are right here, and that this isn't the fuckup it looks like at the moment. At the very least, this means making it damn clear to Democrats in Congress that any more waffling on DACA is unacceptable (hell, this vote looks unacceptable if you ask us). Mitch McConnell is a snake, and Donald Trump has already demonstrated that he can't be trusted to protect those wonderful Dreamer kids he cares so much about, since they might also be those terrible DACA illegal immigrants, too.

Christ, we'd say the only real solution is to end the Republican majority in Congress this fall, but we're not even certain a Democratic takeover of both houses would result in Dems not tripping all over their own dicks.

Here are the Democrats to respect (And a couple of Rs who have their own weird reasons to vote no):

We don't know whether this is brilliant strategy, the best choice available, or the huge cave it feels like at this moment. You tell us!

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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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CNN is suing Donald Trump, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, and others in an attempt to get Jim Acosta's press credentials restored. CNN attorneys argue that whatever lame excuse the White House fabricated about his beating an intern to death with a microphone, the real reason Trump suspended his White House pass was plain old not liking CNN's coverage, and that there is an unconstitutional violation of the First Amendment.

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Photo: Wikimedia Commons

LOVE AND MAWWIAGE! That is what brings us here today. More or less.

In fact, what brings us here today is Georgia Secretary of State Brian Kemp's herculean efforts to drag his ratfucking carcass across the gubernatorial finish line after disenfranchising a million of his constituents who wanted to elect Stacey Abrams. Like Prince Humperdinck shouting, "Man and Wife! Say Man and Wife!" Kemp insists that the vote tally MUST be certified tomorrow, whether the counting is finished or not. And if not, well, so much the better.

The part of Westley will be played today by Common Cause Georgia -- which makes perfect sense if you are a Millennial or Gen X-er. (And if not, apologies!) On November 5, Common Cause made a novel claim against the state of Georgia. They weren't saying that Kemp was deliberately ratfucking the voter data base himself. But they did argue that the insecurity of voter information guarded by the secretary of state violated voters' due process rights because anyone could break in and change the data.

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