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We are getting a wee bit of whiplash right now, and it is Chuck Todd's fault, LOCK HIM UP! Just fooling! We do not want Chuckles The Todd to be lock him upped!

But ever since this whole Ukraine Trump impeachment business started, we never know which Chuck Todd we're going to get. The one that occasionally commits light acts of journalism, or the normal Chuck Todd who is idiot? Last time we addressed the subject, it was normal idiot Chuck Todd. This time it is light journalism Chuck Todd.

America's Dumbest GOP Senator Ron Johnson went on the "Meet the Press" show on Sunday. Chuck Todd has been mean to Johnson before, so maybe there's just something about that guy that makes Chuckles remember his job description. Johnson, of course, is right in the middle of the Trump Ukraine impeachment, having attended Volodymyr Zelenskiy's inauguration in Ukraine along with the Three Amigo idiots, as Marie Yovanovitch was being pushed onto a plane back to DC so Trump's folks could go on a crime spree. Months later, Johnson "winced" when he found out Trump was tying Ukraine's congressionally appropriated military aid to his demand for bullshit investigations of Joe Biden, but his "wincing" got better when Trump said "NO QUID PRO QUO!" -- because if Donald Trump says that, it must be true, according to Ron Johnson, who really is that stupid.

On this "Meet the Press" appearance, Todd generally (generally) pushed back appropriately, and for that he wins one (1) Snausage of his choosing. (No weird flavors, Chuck, we're not going to multiple Petcos for this.)


Full Johnson: Whistleblower Complaint Bad For U.S - Ukraine Relations | Meet The Press | NBC News www.youtube.com

Johnson echoed some of his earlier talking points, about POOR TRUMP and how Trump only acts the way he does (intimidating witnesses, etc.) because of the "constant torment" of all the witch hunt investigations into his criminal behavior, POOR TRUMP.

But Johnson really got into it when he blamed THE WHISTLEBLOWER for coming forward, saying in essence that if the whistleblower hadn't dutifully reported on Trump's ongoing crimes, then none of this would be happening, because nobody would even know about Trump's ongoing crimes. And wouldn't that be better for America?

JOHNSON: Having this all come out into public has weakened [the US-Ukraine relationship], has exposed things that didn't need to be exposed. You know, when I was in Ukraine with Senator Murphy, one of the points I was trying to make is, as we left that meeting, let's try and minimize this. Let's talk about this is a timing difference in terms of funding. Senator Murphy's on the Appropriations Committee. We will restore the funding. I came back and I talked to Senator Durbin. He offered an amendment. That same day, the funding was released. So, this would have been far better off if we would have just taken care of this behind the scenes. [...]

Most people wanted to support Ukraine. We were trying to convince President Trump. And so, the whole -- I mean, again, I listened to the Washington Post article lionizing this whistleblower. Listen, if the whistleblower's goal is to improve our relationship with Ukraine ...

OK, so fair point, Johnson was saying that this hasn't really improved our relationship with Ukraine. However, NOT FAIR POINT, because Wonkette would suggest that the president of the United States BRIBE-'STORTING THE PRESIDENT OF UKRAINE AND TELEGRAPHING THAT FOR RUSSIA TO HEAR WHILE UKRAINE IS FIGHTING A HOT WAR WITH RUSSIA FOR ITS VERY SURVIVAL ALSO IS NOT STRENGTHENING OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH UKRAINE.

AND ALSO TOO, UKRAINE KNEW ALREADY. AND AMERICA KNEW UKRAINE KNEW! AND UKRAINE KNEW AMERICA KNEW UKRAINE KNEW! AND AMERICA KNEW UKRAINE KNEW AMERICA KNEW UKRAINE KNEW!

In other words, the damage was already done, Senator DUMBSHIT.

Chuck Todd followed up with a good Snausage-earner of a question about why Trump was so insistent that President Zelenskiy announce investigations on CNN so he could use them as a political weapon in the 2020 election, to which Johnson replied NO HE NEVER NUH UH!

And because Johnson is such a good little Trump-sniffer, he said Trump just really wanted to know about the "false narrative about Russian collusion" (it was not false), and added again that Trump very specifically said NO QUID PRO QUO! -- which, in the small Oshkosh B'gosh brain of Ron Johnson, should have settled the issue then and there. But dadgum, that whistleblower had to go and expose Trump's crimes and OH RATS!

Chuck Todd was done:

TODD: You seem to blame this on everybody but the president. It was the president's actions --

JOHNSON: No, I'm not blaming anybody, Chuck.

TODD: Well, you are.

YA ARE, BLANCHE, YA ARE.

TODD: You're blaming everybody else for the reason we're in this situation, other than the president. Isn't the president's own behavior, which raised all of these yellow and red flags, isn't that why we're here?

But you can't blame Mr. Beautiful President With The Ass The Ukrainian President Loves And So Does Ron Johnson Allegedly!

¡CULPA A LA TORMENTA!

JOHNSON: Again, I'm sympathetic with President Trump, as he's been tormented from the day after he was -- the election.

And, Johnson bitched, the whistleblower hired a lawyer who tweeted that he wants to DO COUPS to Trump (Mark Zaid did not tweet that, Senator Dumpstupid is full of shit again), and something something HILLARY EMAILS PETER STRZOK TEXTS, the end.

Speaking of, Johnson did say Rep. Jim Jordan and Rep. Sue-The-Moo-Cow have asked him to write down his side of the Trump Ukraine crime story ASAP, so they can scream it at one of the upcoming 9,000 impeachment witnesses. So that'll be awesome.

In summary and in conclusion, it was a stupid interview with a stupid senator, and we hope Chuck Todd enjoys his Snausage.

[transcript]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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