Senate's Dumbest Republican Up To Ass In Trump-Ukraine Scandal

We want you to keep an eye on Wisconsin GOP Senator Ron Johnson with this whole Trump-Ukraine impeachment business. We made a lot of hilarious fun of him a few weeks ago when he went on the Chuck Todd show and just yakked and yakked out words about UKRAINIUM ONE! and Peter Strzok's text messages and how it's a damn lie to say that moron conspiracy theorist John Solomon is a moron conspiracy theorist and blah blah blah blah blah blah.

Todd didn't put up with it. He called what Johnson was saying about Ukraine "Fox News conspiracy theory propaganda stuff" and demanded he answer one simple question, as a member of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, chair of the Homeland Security Committee, and vice chair of the Senate Ukraine Caucus: Why did Johnson wince when idiot EU Ambassador Gordon Sondland told him that Trump was doing extortion quid pro quos with Ukraine for electoral assistance in exchange for military aid already appropriated by Congress? Johnson filibustered as long as he could with bullshit about how unfair people are to poor Donald Trump and more conspiracy theory garbage, but finally said he didn't like that idea very much, but don't worry, because Trump the Truth Sayer told him for sure that there were no quid pro quos.

And Johnson believed him, because Johnson is stupid. By the by, the Wall Street Journalreported this weekend that Sondland affirmed to Congress that Trump's little criminal scheme with Ukraine was a quid pro quo.

(Johnson also believed the rumors that there was a literal actual "secret society" in the FBI to take down Trump. He's super-dumb. He's the Senate equivalent of Devin Nunes, and Devin Nunes is the House equivalent of a torn windsock.)

The Washington Post is out with a new report on how Johnson isn't just an idiot who goes on TV and pukes out garbage conspiracy theories to impress Donald Trump, but rather is kiiiiinda all the way up to his ass in Trump's Ukraine business.

For one thing, know who went to Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskiy with Rick Perry, Gordon Sondland and the rest of the clowns? Ron Johnson. He doesn't remember anything about what happened right after that, though, allegedly, especially not the part where Trump tried to get them to do shadow crime foreign policy with Rudy Giuliani on Ukraine:

The group returned from Ukraine and debriefed Trump and key aides at the White House on May 23. Sondland testified this month that Trump urged them to talk to Giuliani about his concerns about corruption in Ukraine, guidance that opened the informal diplomatic channel used to facilitate the alleged quid pro quo.

Johnson denied Sondland's version of events this week, saying he had "no recollection of the president mentioning Rudy Giuliani" at the May 23 meeting.

"Ambassador Sondland said that was when that all began. I have no recollection of that at all," Johnson told The Post in a brief interview on Capitol Hill.

And then this summer, Johnson and his staff took a meeting with a Ukrainian wingnut who appears to specialize in spreading the conspiracy theories Trump, Rudy Giuliani and Ron Johnson like to believe about Ukraine:

In an interview this past week, Andrii Telizhenko said he met with Johnson (Wis.) for at least 30 minutes on Capitol Hill and with Senate staff for five additional hours. He said discussions focused in part on "the DNC issue" — a reference to his unsubstantiated claim that the Democratic National Committee worked with the Ukrainian government in 2016 to gather incriminating information about then-Trump campaign chairman Paul Manafort. Telizhenko said he could not recall the date of the meeting, but a review of his Facebook page revealed a photo of him and Johnson posted on July 11.

"I was in Washington, and Sen. Johnson found out I was in D.C., and staff called me and wanted to do a meeting with me. So I reached out back and said, 'Sure, I'll come down the Hill and talk to you,' " Telizhenko told The Washington Post on Wednesday.

Very cool! Just a normal sitting United States senator having very serious discussions with a very serious person about how Ukraine was the REAL collusion and the hacked DNC server is now buried in the backyard in Ukraine.

By the way, this Telizhenko jackass also reportedly met with Rudy Giuliani back in May, so he's hitting every member of the MENSA squad, obviously. They talked about Ukraine is the REAL collusion and Joe Biden did corruption to Ukraine, you know, all the same crap he told Ron Johnson.

The Post also reports that Johnson met with President Zelenskiy in "early September," but Johnson says Zelenskiy didn't do any crying at all about feeling quid pro quo-ed or extorted by Donald Trump, though he was indeed wondering where the fuck the aid was. Of course, the Post mentions that Trump had literally forbidden Johnson from teling Zelenskiy that the already-appropriated military aid was coming, you know, because of how Trump had a crime in progress going with Ukraine.

Ron Johnson would be a juror in the impeachment trial in the Senate. We don't know Adam Schiff's plans, but it would seem Johnson might need to speak to the impeachment inquiry in the House.

Does any of this seem normal or appropriate? No, or OH HELL TO THE FUCK no?

SPOILER: It is the second "no," the one with the cusses.

And with that, it is now time for OPEN THREAD.

[Washington Post]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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