Deep breath.

• Last month, we learned that George Allen is secretly Jewish.

• Then, Senator Macaca was asked whether he was Jewish and freaked the fuck out.

• The next day, Senator Shanda fur di Goyim's flacks convinced him to admit it (or to admit that his maternal grandfather was Jewish).

• Somewhere in between, he had an "Ethnic Rally" and a creepy family portrait (neither here nor there, but two of our favorite posts).

• Today, the Post found our favorite Allen family member, mother Etty Lumbroso Allen, and got her on the record about it all. What have we learned? Check in with us after the jump.

Etty Allen, 83 years old, was raised Jewish. This makes Allen Jewish too according to Talmudic law, so he could totally claim Israeli citizenship if it weren't for the stupid cowboy hat.

She said Allen asked her directly about his Jewish heritage when he was in Los Angeles for a fundraiser. "We sat across the table and he said, 'Mom, there's a rumor that Pop-pop and Mom-mom were Jewish and so were you,' " she recalled

This was supposedly last month. Senator Fershlugginer was first asked about this six years ago (as far as we know), but whatever.

Mame Allen (who we love -- seriously, read Jennifer Allen's book and try not to fall in love with her) told him the truth. She'd kept it a secret ever since she arrived in America.

"I didn't want my children to have to go through that fear all the time. When I told Georgie, I said, 'Now you don't love me anymore.'

We think that quote probably says a lot about George Allen right there, but we're trying to be charitable, so we'll just chalk it up to an attempt to guilt-trip the guy. "Please don't tell your brothers and sister and your wife," Mrs. Allen told her son, which makes Allen's bizarre refusal to answer the question almost noble (this is hard for us).

But Etty Allen's belated admission aside, if the Senator actually had no clue about this until a sit-down at the kitchen table last month, he's even dumber than we thought.

Anyway, here's Etty on George:

"His favorite time of the week is when he comes home, sits on his riding mower, by himself and mows his lawn and no one is asking him questions."

Somehow, that ain't too surprising. Sitting on riding mowers ain't our cup of tea, of course, but to each his own.

Allen's Mother Revealed Jewish Heritage to Him Last Month [WP]