Senator From 'Deliverance' Talking About 'Honky Tonk Woman' And Brain Damage, We Are So Confused
Senator John Neely Kennedy, the thing what went to Oxford but who seems to want you to think he was raised by a brusque yet kind redneck alligator in the Louisiana bayou, went on the Sunday TV shows yesterday. And he said ...
Well, we're not quite sure what he said.
The question on "Face The Nation" was about whether it is appropriate for Donald Trump to turn the Justice Department into a vehicle for avenging his grievances, and specifically whether Trump should have tweet-whined about how unfair Roger Stone's recommended sentence was, immediately after which Attorney General Bill Barr very conveniently followed Trump's orders and issued a new sentence recommendation.
And Kennedy said:
KENNEDY: Um ... just because ... does the president have a right to tweet about a case? Of course. Just because you CAN sing, though, doesn't mean you SHOULD sing.
You can have a voice like Mick Jagger. But you wouldn't want to start belting out "Honky Tonk Woman" in church. This is a case where tweeting less would NOT cause brain damage.
You need to watch the video so you can see Kennedy looking around, staring upwards and to the left, licking his lips incessantly, as he pours forth such gibberish about where Mick Jagger should not sing "Honky Tonk Woman," which is in church. Kennedy also attempted to call Roger Stone an idiot, which is both true and also the pot calling the kettle an idiot, by saying "nobody would confuse him with Alexander Hamilton." Kennedy says Bill Barr, meanwhile, is just a good and stable genius who is "cursed with a rational mind" and "tough as a boot!" and Trump "put the attorney general in an awkward spot," we guess by saying out loud the dirty work Barr was already doing for Trump, you don't have to tweet it out every time, my God.
Elsewhere during the interview, host Margaret Brennan wanted to know if John Kennedy still agrees with John Kennedy back in November, who told Margaret Brennan that it would be VERY BAD if a president (Donald Trump) asked a foreign country (Ukraine) to investigate a political foe (Joe Biden). And well goshdarnit and boy howdy, the February version of John Kennedy's brain told Brennan that it "depends on why he asked for it," and he is just pretty sure that what he said back in November was that "if a president asks for an investigation of a political rival because he is a political rival, that would be wrong."
Which is exactly what Donald Trump did, and the evidence is screaming in everybody's face and anybody who can't see that at this point is a barking fucking liar and/or a Republican senator. John Kennedy is obviously fine with whatever Trump did.
You want to watch the whole interview? Obviously not, but here you go anyway. Maybe you like listening to redneck goats trapped in haunted houses stepping on their own dicks for over six minutes straight:
We don't know why Kennedy goes on TV like this, unless it's some kind of performance art or he's got some kind of bet with other country lawyer Republican lawmakers to see who can say the biggest rube-ass banjo-strumming yokel shit to make our heads explode.
It's gotta be that.
Otherwise, Kennedy might want to look into getting a referral to a brain doctor, for fixing his brains.
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